IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling goods are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#technologies #goods #lives #consumers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technological advancement has made buying and selling items easier than ever, and
people
Use synonyms
 are enjoying
this
Linking Words
 novel experience. In my opinion,
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 marketplace is one of the most innovative
discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
show examples
 of our time, which has been very beneficial to
people
Use synonyms
, as they can shop from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 but it is killing local
businesses
Use synonyms
 and making
people
Use synonyms
 lazy. Since the launch of
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 marketplace, its popularity is constantly increasing. In the earlier days,
people
Use synonyms
 used to go out
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping but nowadays you can directly order from websites.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everybody can buy or sell
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their electronic devices,
such
Linking Words
 as
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
, phones and tablet computers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as there is no middleman or retailer, consumers
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 from getting bigger discounts.
For example
Linking Words
, we can go to Amazon's website,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the biggest online retailer and get anything we want,
such
Linking Words
 as a microwave, clothes and a phone, cheaper than the
lcoal
Correct your spelling
local
 store. So, I would agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 doing trade online is extremely
benefcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
 are trading online, it is affecting local
businesses
Use synonyms
. Due to online
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
, local shops are getting less business, which is affecting their livelihood.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during the coronavirus pandemic, a lot of local
businesses
Use synonyms
 shut down due to no income.
Furhtermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, new ways of trading are affecting
people
Use synonyms
's health, as they are not going out of the house anymore. Due to that, their health is
detoriating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 new ways of buying or selling
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some negative effects on local
businesses
Use synonyms
 as well as on the health of the
people
Use synonyms
, it has made doing business more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
, and shopping is now at our fingertips.
Submitted by vimzauthority on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: