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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
It is hard to deny that high levels of
sugar
 are contained in manufactured food and drink
products
.
Such
 a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that producers should rise the value of sugary
products
 to encourage the population to consume less
sugar
.
However
,
such
 a statement suffers both
logical
Change the word
logically
show examples
 and facilities and should be examined meticulously. As far as feasibility and health are concerned, I strongly hold that the public should be aware of the foods which are made with lots of
sugar
.
First
 and foremost, feasibility would be the most important factor that whether the plans would be successful. To be more specific, lots of
sugar
 is added to most of the snacks we eat.
Therefore
, if the materials increase the price would influence all around the world.
As a result
, the price of
products
 is going to be very confusing.
Furthermore
, the fact that health is a point that no one will take it lightly. indicates that eating too much
sugar
 for a long time may cause many problems. Take a case of a kid who often buys manufactured snacks leads to becoming fat and can't concentrate on classes.
As a result
, kids will have a gap with other children no matter tests or
Change preposition
in
show examples
relationships. Had it not been for consuming too many unhealthy materials would never impact a person's normal life. In a
nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
 maintains that reducing the use of bad makings can enhance people's quality of life.
However
, I do not
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the opinion that Sugary goods should be made more expensive to encourage the nation to consume less
sugar
.
On the other hand
, the government could remove some
products
 that are not meet health standards or spread more correct information about eating
sugar
.
Submitted by yeona030826 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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