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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in the arts - music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree

#countries #attitude #anyone #arts #music #literature #art #people #talent
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I agree that so many
people
 with no talent in the present time are becoming wealthy and popular, while the actually greatly talented
people
 are not valued enough nor appreciated in some societies.
Initially
, I believe society these days is very critical, which leads them to
putting
Change the verb form
put
show examples
 the wrong
people
 in the spotlight. Many factors contribute to the act of criticism, like beauty
standards
.
For instance
, anyone could get known just because they're attractive or fit the unrealistic beauty
standards
 now, which makes them think they can do
art
 when they can't.
As a result
,
this
 issue makes it harder for the genuinely talented
people
 out there to get their fame.
Moreover
, most
people
 at the current time enjoy watching ridiculous things and call
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
art
. I think that they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 see arts like music, drama,
literature
Correct word choice
or literature
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the way other individuals do.
For example
,
people
 who are enriched with talent and have an
art
 viewpoint or perception, understand
art
 truly and are so rare in my personal opinion.
Furthermore
, I have a personal experience which supports my argument. Me, as a guitarist, I have been posting my performances daily on social media. I rarely get interactions, even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 my playing is very great, but when another pretty, gorgeous person does the same thing, they immediately blow up despite their horrible talent which is extremely unfair. To conclude, the community's unattainable
standards
 have made absurd
people
 prominent, whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brilliant artists are more likely to be underrated. Adding to that, It seems to me that if the general lowered their
standards
, the problem would be solved.
Submitted by deemaalfannah on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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