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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some think that the best way to stay fit is to join gym. while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #gym #activities #stairs
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It is often argued by some people that the best way to keep it
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fine is to join a
health
Use synonyms
 club.
Although
Linking Words
, others believe that doing regular activities is enough to stay healthy.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 and give some relevant examples to spot my point of view. To commence with
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 opinion, many people think that it is crucial to join a gym to stay fit because concentration plays a vital role in every field to complete
a work
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
 successfully.
In addition
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the gym provides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peaceful environment to do every kind of
exercise
Use synonyms
 in one place and
also
Linking Words
 provides
uswith
Correct your spelling
us with
a trainer who teaches us how to do perfect
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 it is very necessary to
exercise
Use synonyms
 every body part.
For example
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,
health
Use synonyms
 clubs have a timetable of everyday physical jerks.
That is
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 why we should join a gym.
On the contrary
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,those who are in favour of the latter discuss that they have their own argument. They believe that everyday activities are more than enough to keep healthy
such
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 as walking ,
climbing
Correct word choice
and climbing
show examples
 stairs and daily routine work.
That is
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 why if the common forms of
exercise
Use synonyms
 are done daily, these will help to burn calories and control obesity and
also
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 improve overall
health
Use synonyms
. To
further
Linking Words
 explain , the World
health
Use synonyms
 organisation
also
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 believe that if a person walked around a thousand steps and climbed a hundred stairs daily have a very good
health
Use synonyms
 and fitness level. To conclude, it is very important to do
exercise
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every
bodypart
Correct your spelling
body part
 which is not possible in daily work. So , we have to join a
health
Use synonyms
 spa to keep fit.
Hence
Linking Words
, I certainly favour the former opinion.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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