Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

A number of parents purchase their children as many toys as they wish.

This

upbringing approach might have many outcomes some of which are satisfactory but it

also

comes with damage. One of the benefits is the fact that when you purchase any game for your baby, it gives them confidence and they do not get disappointed or obsessive about that plaything,

therefore

they do not get unhappy once they see their friends playing with the toys that he or she does not possess. Not only does it make them thankful but

also

generous to their peers.

For instance

, my nephew has so many playthings that allow him to generously share them with other kids.

In contrast

this

idea makes children spoiled

consequently

they cannot be controlled anymore. Once you listen to everything they say and get everything they ask for, you lose the game. If you do not buy them whatever they wish for, they will start to cry hard and scream loudly in order to achieve their desires. The statistics show that 78% of spoiled children will get depressed in their teenagehood because not everyone will surely listen to them and they cannot receive what they want easily by weeping. For

this

reason, they suffer from depression. As an example my father used to accept all my requests as a child, it was extremely sweet and pleasant for me

then

However

, growing up my problems started gradually, l could not contact my school teachers so I started skipping school. The older I got, the bigger my problems got.

As a result

, my migraine attacks started happening when I was only 11.

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

I became depressed. To conclude,

this

idea has both benefits and drawbacks. The advantage that I discussed was that

this

action makes your baby more confident, humble

moreover

happy, on the other ,hand the disadvantage of the mentioned activities in the topic makes them overindulged and it has really terrible consequences.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Dec 14 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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