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Writing Samples
Band 3

Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#discipline #schools #people #responsibility #teachers #role #parents
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A firm hand is an ever-increasing difficult situation in present-day schools.More and more individuals believe that discipline should be the task
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
Use synonyms
teachers
Add the comma(s)
,teachers
show examples
,while others believe that
this
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 is the capacity of
parents
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss
firstly
Linking Words
, a firm hard is
beneficial
Change the article
a beneficial
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 side for pupils studying and
secondly
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,
this
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 is
Correct article usage
a negatively
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negatively
Change the adverb
negative
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 aspect.From my point of view,
this
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relevant
Add a missing verb
is relevant
show examples
 to
teachers
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. On the one hand, there is many beneficial
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of doing
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplining
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
.For
this
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 reason,
teachers
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 do
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 useful
work
Change to a plural noun
works
show examples
 for pupils,it was very interesting.
This
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 is a glaring example of why troops feel
this
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,which
teachers
Use synonyms
 of
country
Add an article
the country
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 was been hard and
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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 public is increasing
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
.According to the data,Japan of all school is
Add an article
a discipline
the discipline
show examples
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
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 for
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
pupils
Add the comma(s)
,pupils
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, that's why more and more
children
Use synonyms
 are very clever and
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
's
parents
Use synonyms
 should be dutiful.Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 they don't do
irresponsibility
Replace the word
irresponsibly
show examples
.A prime example of how
this
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 scheme works is that If every
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 look out for their
children
Use synonyms
,it is worthwhile increasing for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. In
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
 analysis,despite the fact that teaching all
parents
Use synonyms
 and
teachers
Use synonyms
 is very useful for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 future. From my way of thinking,introducing might all pupil's
parents
Use synonyms
 and their
teachers
Use synonyms
 because it helps
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 very well and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 their skills.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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