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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say modern children's games do not develop a wide range of skills, while traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The phenomenon of traditional
games
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 and modern
children
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's
games
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 of which one would benefit the most to the developing kids. Divergent as
people
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's views on
this
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 issue in question may be, I totally agree that parents should encourage
children
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 to play more traditional
games
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. Of all the reasons why old
games
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 are better than new
games
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, probably the most significant one is that modern
games
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 have a fatal issue which is most of them are electric
games
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.
Therefore
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, if
children
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 play it for a long period of
time
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, it will affect the eyes' function. To illustrate, mobile
games
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 are common entertainment these days,and a lot of younger
people
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 wear glasses because they spend too much
time
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 on their mobile phones.
Although
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 modern
children
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's
games
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 may help in the development of the mind, their damage to our eyes should not be underestimated. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that some traditional
games
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 have physical exercise and face-to-face communication with peers which means
children
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 can train their minds and train their bodies and the same
time
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. It
also
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 would be a great opportunity for them to practice their teamwork skill.
For example
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, directional tracking is an all-rounding game that requires
people
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 to form a group and formulate strategies,
then
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 find all the targets in the lowest spending
time
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.
As a result
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,
such
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games
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 are more beneficial to young
people
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. Under
this
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 line of thinking,
although
Linking Words
 modern
games
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 can train
children
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's minds well, their side effect outweighed their advantage. So, I believe that traditional
games
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 are more healthy to achieve development purposes.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • motor skills
  • social interactions
  • strategic thinking
  • interpersonal skills
  • repetitive actions
  • digital interaction
  • real-world scenarios
  • educational content
  • traditional vs. modern
  • physical activity
  • screen time
  • creativity
  • intellectual challenge
  • health implications
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