some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others however say that this would have little effect on public health and other that measures are required

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

this

fast-paced world, a group of masses assume that improvements in

sports

amenities could ameliorate public

health

, the opponents,

however

, say that other measures are pivotal for public

health

rather than

sports

facilities as having less impact. I believe that there are certain parameters for the former statements

such

as obesity and stress. Some other measures are

also

effective to maintain

health

as per the latter notion like increasing the price of junk foods, refurbishments of medical technology, and curbing the environmental

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

that lead to

health

issues. It is an undeniable fact that public

health

is imperative for a nation and

sports

activities are effective in improving

health

First

of all, obesity in all age groups is a result of a sedentary lifestyle. Most people are depending on fast food because of the taste, price, and lack of time. By

this

I mean, junk foods are cheaper than healthy. To cite an example, a lot of Indian cafes are providing unlimited food

Change preposition

show examples

noon with an offer price time which attracts the public to rely on them. Another reason is stress. Above half of the population in India has stress due to the imbalance between work and personal life. In order to curb

this

issue

sports

amenities ought to be improved by the officialdom. To cite an example,

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

220 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. others however say that this would have little effect on public health and other that measures are required

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Is it important for people to take risks,in both their professsional lives and personal lives? do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?