Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

These days , in
this
competitive world
people
are busier than past . They have to spend more
time
working and studying
instead
of sleeping .
Although
,
people
are becoming more successful in technology they would not have a healthy
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
people
are working more than usual
time
to make money for a comfortable
life
but it might cause sleeping problems
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
do not have enough rest and after a while, they would not have enough energy to work .
Moreover
, enough sleep may help to have a better quality of
life
because they would wake up happier when they had enough sleep
thus
it helps them to have a better feel during the day .
Finally
, it has an extraordinary effect on their
life
span . In the
last
survey of scientists
people
who did not have sufficient sleep had a shorter
life
span ,they said lack of sleep would affect brain activity and after a while, their brain will not command other parts of
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, the whole
body
performance might be interrupted.
First
of all , I believe it is really important
people
have a great timetable to manage their
time
it would help them to decrease their waste
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
governments can do a good role in their
people
's
life
if they focus on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
performance
instead
of
time
. In another word, they should encourage
people
to make new ways to do work which are easier and faster
instead
of working long hours without any creative ideas.
Therefore
it would not happen unless they have enough sleep and an open mind . In conclusion ,
people
with a healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
have better performance in their
life
and
also
have a longer
life
span .
Submitted by Nedjoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: