Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To wat extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since ancient times, people would spend thousands of hours
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking at texts
wrote
Wrong verb form
written
show examples
by great authors.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
have
further
Linking Words
choices on what to spend time with thanks to modern technology. Some might believe that reading fictional
books
Use synonyms
are better for
children
Use synonyms
than watching TV or playing computer games and I agree with
such
Linking Words
statement
Correct article usage
a statement
show examples
.
Children
Use synonyms
who consume fiction could be beneficial in the long term as reading
books
Use synonyms
could improve their attention span without relying on visualised excitement. Since reading stories requires the reader to have
Correct article usage
a sufficent
show examples
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
amount of attention to scan through pages without zoning out,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
children
Use synonyms
would have difficulty
to follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
through
interactions
Change preposition
on interactions
show examples
between characters and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
world building
Add a hyphen
world-building
show examples
. Not to mention that the education
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
students to consume hundreds of
non fiction
Add a hyphen
non-fiction
show examples
books
Use synonyms
for
further
Linking Words
study.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is better for
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
child to train their focus on
text based
Add a hyphen
text-based
show examples
mediums rather than spending time on
visual-base
Correct your spelling
visual-based
show examples
mediums
such
Linking Words
as playing video games and watching television. Unlike TV shows,
books
Use synonyms
allow readers to imagine unique settings and lore, boosting young
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
both creative and visual development. Different people
interpet
Correct your spelling
interpret
various results even if they look at the same
scentence
Correct your spelling
sentence
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while playing games provide a grand scale of world building for young kids to enjoy,
hunderds
Correct your spelling
hundreds
of interpretations could be
imgained
Correct your spelling
imagined
gained
in alternative settings within story
books
Use synonyms
which have more creative freedom than exploring premade scenes make by mainstream companies. To sum up, a good story
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
children
Use synonyms
to explore their inner creativity
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
sea
Add an article
a sea
the sea
show examples
of text and practice long-term focus to prepare for reading heavy-text materials in the future.
Submitted by ypching918 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: