Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

It is a topic
that is
fiercely debated about shared
information
. Some
people
advocate that we should
shared
Change the verb form
share
show examples
information
from scientific,
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
and academic global,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
believe that we can
shared
Change the verb form
share
show examples
information
without
restricted
Replace the word
restriction
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
any
sources
. Scientific research, economy and academic global
is
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are
show examples
an educate
information
that should
shared
Change the verb form
be shared
share
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
people
.
On the other hand
, those resources
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a valuable
Remove the article
valuable information
a piece of valuable information
show examples
information
that can broaden
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
of
people
about science, economy and
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
People
may get
information
from the resources that they don’t have in school.
For instance
,
people
get a new insight about the method to develop a small business in a village by reading a business article. Another
rational
Correct your spelling
rationale
show examples
, sharing
information
will be safe because the
sources
of the
information
are
validity
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valid
show examples
and reliable
sources
that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
review from some expertise before they publish the
information
. Unlimited of sharing
information
will
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
profound
Correct article usage
a profound
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
in a community of society. That means
people
will use all
information
for their self-development which can lead them to explore their capacity of potential.
For instance
, a students get
information
about how to make a
recycle
Change the verb form
recycling
show examples
machine
at the end
, the students
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to make an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
machine that has an
extremely
Change the word
extreme
show examples
impact on society. To recapitulate what I have mentioned earlier, sharing
information
from extensive
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resources has big benefits for
people
in their country,
however
, shared
information
taken from
a trusted
Correct the article-noun agreement
a trusted source
trusted sources
show examples
sources
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
foremost
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
that
people
should do. I strongly believe that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a shared
Remove the article
shared information
a piece of shared information
show examples
information
from an academic and
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
source is more efficient and effective.
Furthermore
, it will enrich us with
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
knowledge and theory.
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coherence cohesion
You need to maintain a more consistent and logical structure throughout your essay, which includes clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Connect your ideas effectively using a variety of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and reflect the full scope of the essay's argument. They should distinctly introduce and summarize the main points of the discussion, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully with specific examples and explanations. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single main idea and provides evidence to support it.
task achievement
Your response is somewhat complete but falls short of developing a fully clear position throughout the response. Ensure your argument is comprehensive and maintains a clear position on the issue.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and express your ideas more comprehensively. Avoid ambiguity and ensure each paragraph conveys a distinct and fully developed idea.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help to clarify and support your arguments more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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