Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is an undeniable fact that every country has
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own festival and
people
Use synonyms
love to celebrate it with family members but , nowadays pupils like to go out with their kith
an
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and
show examples
kins
Fix the agreement mistake
kin
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for
vaction
Correct your spelling
vacation
and they have forgotten all the ancient rituals and virtuals . I completely agree to laud
a rememberable festivals
Correct the article-noun agreement
rememberable festivals
a rememberable festival
show examples
and tradition in
Change the article
a meaningfull
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meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
way
also
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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will
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
great to give my opinion and views in
Linking Words
further
Add an article
the further
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essay .
First
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and
foremostly
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foremost
show examples
,
feast
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the feast
a feast
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is one of the greatest
time
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times
show examples
to firm with near
one's
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one
show examples
and
also
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it
give
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gives
show examples
us a lot of ideas for our future .
Furthermore
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, in some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
,country
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people
Use synonyms
use to celebrate
few
Correct article usage
a few
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carnival
Change to a plural noun
carnivals
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with
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apply
show examples
full of joy and they
also
Linking Words
love to donate clothes and food to poor
people
Use synonyms
.
In Addition
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,
religious
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the religious
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festival has been settled by our older
people
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and
by
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apply
show examples
applying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in our own
life
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it
give
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gives
show examples
us new
life
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to live against society as well it
also
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help
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helps
show examples
individuals to know more about "1000 BC" things .
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it
boost
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boosts
show examples
spiritually
Replace the word
spirituality
show examples
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
belivers
Correct your spelling
believers
abd
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and
boost the local economy by generating
revene
Correct your spelling
revenue
also
Linking Words
it
release
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releases
show examples
stress and our
life
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can be full of expectation and faith to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
goal
Add an article
the goal
show examples
.
For Instance
Linking Words
, 90% of Indian human beings proclaim their function in public and relife
ancitey
Correct your spelling
anxiety
of
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
by dancing and enjoying it .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
of the countries
people
Use synonyms
say no to
celebration
Add an article
the celebration
show examples
they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
celebarting
Correct your spelling
celebrating
celebration
day will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their
life
Use synonyms
in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
way .
Moreover
Linking Words
,some man/woman think it is
exploration
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an exploration
the exploration
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of
life
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if they
comes
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come
show examples
under enjoyment .
Additionally
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, some country government has made some strict rule against commemoration they think the world will get more
pollutate
Correct your spelling
pollutants
polluted
after
this
Linking Words
and
bunch
Correct article usage
a bunch
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of money will be used .
Last
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but not the least , religion
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
encourage communalism in many
state
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states
show examples
. To cite an example , as per
latest
Add an article
a latest
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article published in "HUFFINGTON POST" in India two communities Hindu and
Muslims
Fix the agreement mistake
Muslim
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are against each other and 50% of cases
are register
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are registered
show examples
because of
fight
Add an article
the fight
a fight
show examples
. In the end ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
conclide
Correct your spelling
conclude
concluded
that it is
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
of
evry
Correct your spelling
every
citizen to enjoy
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
festival
Add an article
a festival
show examples
in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own way and every mankind should live like brother and sister with each other .
Submitted by Niv on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
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