Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is an undeniable fact that every country has
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own festival and
people
love to celebrate it with family members but , nowadays pupils like to go out with their kith
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
kins
Fix the agreement mistake
kin
show examples
for
vaction
Correct your spelling
vacation
and they have forgotten all the ancient rituals and virtuals . I completely agree to laud
a rememberable festivals
Correct the article-noun agreement
rememberable festivals
a rememberable festival
show examples
and tradition in
Change the article
a meaningfull
show examples
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
way
also
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
great to give my opinion and views in
further
Add an article
the further
show examples
essay .
First
and
foremostly
Change the word
foremost
show examples
,
feast
Add an article
the feast
a feast
show examples
is one of the greatest
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
to firm with near
one's
Change noun form
one
show examples
and
also
it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
us a lot of ideas for our future .
Furthermore
, in some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
people
use to celebrate
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
carnival
Change to a plural noun
carnivals
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of joy and they
also
love to donate clothes and food to poor
people
.
In Addition
,
religious
Add an article
the religious
show examples
festival has been settled by our older
people
and
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
applying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in our own
life
it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
us new
life
to live against society as well it
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
individuals to know more about "1000 BC" things .
Nonetheless
, it
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
spiritually
Replace the word
spirituality
show examples
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
belivers
Correct your spelling
believers
abd
Correct your spelling
and
boost the local economy by generating
revene
Correct your spelling
revenue
also
it
release
Change the verb form
releases
show examples
stress and our
life
can be full of expectation and faith to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
goal
Add an article
the goal
show examples
.
For Instance
, 90% of Indian human beings proclaim their function in public and relife
ancitey
Correct your spelling
anxiety
of
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
by dancing and enjoying it .
On the other hand
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
of the countries
people
say no to
celebration
Add an article
the celebration
show examples
they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
celebarting
Correct your spelling
celebrating
celebration
day will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their
life
in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
way .
Moreover
,some man/woman think it is
exploration
Add an article
an exploration
the exploration
show examples
of
life
if they
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
under enjoyment .
Additionally
, some country government has made some strict rule against commemoration they think the world will get more
pollutate
Correct your spelling
pollutants
polluted
after
this
and
bunch
Correct article usage
a bunch
show examples
of money will be used .
Last
but not the least , religion
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
encourage communalism in many
state
Change to a plural noun
states
show examples
. To cite an example , as per
latest
Add an article
a latest
show examples
article published in "HUFFINGTON POST" in India two communities Hindu and
Muslims
Fix the agreement mistake
Muslim
show examples
are against each other and 50% of cases
are register
Change the verb form
are registered
show examples
because of
fight
Add an article
the fight
a fight
show examples
. In the end ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
conclide
Correct your spelling
conclude
concluded
that it is
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
of
evry
Correct your spelling
every
citizen to enjoy
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
festival
Add an article
a festival
show examples
in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own way and every mankind should live like brother and sister with each other .
Submitted by Niv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural dilution
  • Traditional values
  • Secularization
  • Festivity
  • Heritage
  • Individualism vs. collectivism
  • Consumer culture
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: