Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational Value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give example based on your own experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I totally agree that
computer
games
are very popular among people of all ages and nations and I do agree on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
harmful effect, but
educationl
Correct your spelling
educational
education
value whether is it little or not is questionable.
I've
Unnecessary verb
I
show examples
started playing
video
games
when I was 6 or 7 years old, at
this
age,
video
games
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
very
prymative
Correct your spelling
primitive
and less appealing, so playing
video
games
was less frequent.
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
and my
pears
Correct your spelling
peers
show examples
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
other
games
and toys, moving around by
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bike, playing hide and seek and other
childesh
Correct your spelling
childish
games
. growing up to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagehood,
video
games
evolved to
other level
Change the wording
another level
other levels
show examples
to be more attractive and addictive, so now I'm playing for longer times with friends and it's purely for entertainment, but what protected me from addiction is not having a gaming devise in home, to play
coputer
Correct your spelling
computer
games
I need to play outside and buy time to play. after having a
computer
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home I became a
computer
games
addict, playing for hours and hours, ignoring food,
homework
Correct word choice
and homework
show examples
and staying up all night playing, at
this
time my parents intervened to put an end to
this
and confiscated my
computer
. Today I'm 37 years old man
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can easily fall
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
addiction
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
computer
games
, I've survived all other types of addiction except for
computer
games
, I keep myself busy with other useful things and avoid
computer
games
trying not to follow
this
pass again. In the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
,
computer
games
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
only for entertainment but in the past 15
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
it evolved to be
also
for educational purposes which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
thing to benefit from children's attraction to
video
games
. Generally speaking,
video
games
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
just
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
any other tool or
devise
Replace the word
device
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be useful or can be harmful,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
just depends on how it's used.
Submitted by ahmedmalorabi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: