Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational Value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give example based on your own experience.

#computer #games #ages #nations #parent #value #effects

I totally agree that

computer

games

are very popular among people of all ages and nations and I do agree on

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

harmful effect, but

educationl

Correct your spelling

educational

education

value whether is it little or not is questionable.

I've

Unnecessary verb

show examples

started playing

video

games

when I was 6 or 7 years old, at

this

age,

video

games

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

very

prymative

Correct your spelling

primitive

and less appealing, so playing

video

games

was less frequent.

Change the pronoun

show examples

and my

pears

Correct your spelling

peers

show examples

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

other

games

and toys, moving around by

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

bike, playing hide and seek and other

childesh

Correct your spelling

childish

games

. growing up to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagehood,

video

games

evolved to

other level

Change the wording

another level

other levels

show examples

to be more attractive and addictive, so now I'm playing for longer times with friends and it's purely for entertainment, but what protected me from addiction is not having a gaming devise in home, to play

coputer

Correct your spelling

computer

games

I need to play outside and buy time to play. after having a

computer

Change preposition

show examples

home I became a

computer

games

addict, playing for hours and hours, ignoring food,

homework

Correct word choice

and homework

show examples

and staying up all night playing, at

this

time my parents intervened to put an end to

this

and confiscated my

computer

. Today I'm 37 years old man

whom

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can easily fall

Change preposition

into

show examples

addiction

for

Change preposition

show examples

computer

games

, I've survived all other types of addiction except for

computer

games

, I keep myself busy with other useful things and avoid

computer

games

trying not to follow

this

pass again. In the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

computer

games

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

only for entertainment but in the past 15

years

Add a comma

,years

show examples

it evolved to be

also

for educational purposes which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

thing to benefit from children's attraction to

video

games

. Generally speaking,

video

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

just

Change preposition

show examples

any other tool or

devise

Replace the word

device

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be useful or can be harmful,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

just depends on how it's used.

Submitted by ahmedmalorabi on Fri Dec 16 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Computer games is very popular in all ages and nations. Parent think it has little educational Value and more harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give example based on your own experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important aims of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Most of our information comes from the internet nowadays. Some people say that a large part of the information we get is incorrect. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.