IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problems caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #people
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International
tourism
Use synonyms
 has become a huge industry in the world, Some
people
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 think that the problems caused by international
tourism
Use synonyms
 outweigh the benefits,
experts
Correct word choice
but experts
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truely
Correct your spelling
truly
has
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have
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 been debating on
this
Linking Words
 topic for the past 5 years, and lots of articles and
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 discussing what is now
knwon
Correct your spelling
known
 as "over
tourism
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" from different sides. The development of the media and social media and the rise of
people
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 named bloggers, vloggers and influencers sharing their daily life on the
internent
Correct your spelling
internet
, where they go and what they eat
encaurged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
 more and more
people
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, from younger generations
in particular
Linking Words
 to travel to try new things. fueled by
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
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 in the income and rise of the low-priced commercial aviation industry
hotel
Correct word choice
and hotel
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 industry targetting
youth
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the youth
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 all lead to a surge in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
tourism
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, according to the statistics, 1.5
bilion
Correct your spelling
billion
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 roamed the planet in 2019, the year before the covid 19 epidemic.
Does
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Do
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 the downsides outweigh the upsides?
,
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apply
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 well, it depends on how you see it, for
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who work
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work
Change the form of the verb
working
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 in activities related,
transport
Fix the infinitive
to transport
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, hospitality or food services, you would see
tourism
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 as their mean of making the money for
living
Correct article usage
a living
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. if you are concerned about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 sustainability,
monuments
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monuments'
monument's
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 durability, or public health, you would see hyper-
tourism
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 as
risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
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 that has to be controlled.
Finally
Linking Words
, from my own
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I would say
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
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 benefits the whole
planet
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planet's
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 population more than it harms, it
provide
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provides
show examples
 jobs, increase income for
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
 and introduces
cilviliazations
Correct your spelling
civilizations
 to each other.
Submitted by ahmedmalorabi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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