IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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The development of the healthcare system has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accelerated within the
last
Linking Words
 decades due to globalization and technological inventions.
This
Linking Words
 has led to an increase in life expectancy in the world, which is correlating with a need to provide medical and financial support for
this
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 category of society and
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
 on taxpayers.
However
Linking Words
, these issues could be solved by increasing the retirement age, encouraging pensioners to work and pay taxes and, in general, all categories of society for a healthy lifestyle, so that
people
Use synonyms
 would be admitted to hospitals rarer. It is proven, that elderly
people
Use synonyms
 need more financial help.
This
Linking Words
 means,that if life expectancy is longer, it overloads the healthcare system, which is not funded enough, as another fraction of the budget is needed to provide pensions for the same
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 issue could be solved by encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 to stay at work longer, providing them with necessary support and flexible hours or by increasing the retirement age. Following
this
Linking Words
, they still would be able to pay taxes and replenish the budget. Another major problem is that
this
Linking Words
 category of society is visiting hospitals and surgeries more often than others.
However
Linking Words
,if a healthy lifestyle,
for instance
Linking Words
,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet, and physical exercises, were encouraged,
people
Use synonyms
 would be able to stay healthy longer and avoid hospital admissions.
This
Linking Words
 would diminish the burden on National Healthcare. All things considered, though there is a number of problems
causing
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by suddenly growing life expectancy, there are solutions for them,
for instance
Linking Words
, encouraging
people
Use synonyms
 not to retire and to have a healthy lifestyle, increasing the retirement age. All the above-mentioned strategies would be able to balance the system.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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