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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world
#water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world
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The pie charts show a comparison of different uses of
water
Use synonyms
 between residential, industry and agriculture, in
San
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Diego
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 County,
California
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 and in worldwide.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
San
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Diego
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 county the
usage
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 of
water
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 in residential part more than in
California
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 and the rest of the world.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, agricultural
water
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usage
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 takes place worldwide more than in
California
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 and
San
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Diego
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
water
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usage
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 of the industry has the same
percentage
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 in
San
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Diego
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 and worldwide. In
San
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Diego
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 county, the proportion of
water
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usage
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 in agriculture is 17% become the least compared to
California
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 which is 28%
besides
Linking Words
, the worldwide reach is 69% which is the highest. But, in
San
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Diego
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, the
percentage
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 of the residential section
water
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usage
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 is 60% more than in
California
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 and in the rest of the world which becomes 39% and 8% respectively. About the industry, it has moderate percentages among all the mentioned countries, but the highest
percentage
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 is in
California
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 which
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 33% of
water
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usage
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
San
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Diego
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besides
Linking Words
 the rest of the world has the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 23% of
water
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usage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reem.shhaiber on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, san, diego, california, usage, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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