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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Smoking and alcohol consumption are injurious to health. Then why does the business of tobacco and liquor still continue?

#alcohol #consumption #health #business #tobacco #liquor
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At the present time,
alcohol
Use synonyms
 and smoking are really popular, especially for teenagers. Hi, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will express my point of view about why booze
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 are still alive. So
firstly
Linking Words
 the main reason is that, if a person will drink , he'
ll
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 want to drink more and more, so it'
ll
Use synonyms
 give a benefit, the average cost of
alcohol
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 in my country is 40 000 sum (it's 4 dollars). Many companies
for example
Linking Words
 Jack Daniels has a really big benefit. Jack Daniels are selling more than 6 million bottles, and 1 bottle cost 100$, It is more than 600 000 000 dollars each year. It's
the
Correct article usage
a
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 crazy sum of money!
Secondly
Linking Words
, why
government
Use synonyms
 let
alcohol
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 companies sell it? In my mind, because the
government
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 has
also
Linking Words
 a big profit from that, for ,example if the
government
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 will take 10% of the money from companies, from Jack Daniels they'
ll
Use synonyms
 have 60 000 000 dollars each year. Just from 1
alcohol
Use synonyms
. But how much alcohols are in their country? But, even
Use synonyms
alcohol
Correct word choice
though alcohol
show examples
 is a really good chance to earn money for everyone, not everyone can buy it.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 teenagers can not buy it if they are less than 18 years. Or BUM's, they can just buy a spirit. So in ,
end
Correct article usage
the end
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 I'
ll
Use synonyms
 recommend not thinking much about why the
government
Use synonyms
 let people buy
alcohol
Use synonyms
. Because It is a really good way to earn. So I think after
this
Linking Words
 essay some people know something new about
alcohol
Use synonyms
. Thanks for paying attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 my essay
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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