Smoking and alcohol consumption are injurious to health. Then why does the business of tobacco and liquor still continue?

#alcohol #consumption #health #business #tobacco #liquor

At the present time,

alcohol

and smoking are really popular, especially for teenagers. Hi, and in

this

essay I will express my point of view about why booze

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

are still alive. So

firstly

the main reason is that, if a person will drink , he'

want to drink more and more, so it'

give a benefit, the average cost of

alcohol

in my country is 40 000 sum (it's 4 dollars). Many companies

for example

Jack Daniels has a really big benefit. Jack Daniels are selling more than 6 million bottles, and 1 bottle cost 100$, It is more than 600 000 000 dollars each year. It's

the

Correct article usage

show examples

crazy sum of money!

Secondly

, why

government

let

alcohol

companies sell it? In my mind, because the

government

has

also

a big profit from that, for ,example if the

government

will take 10% of the money from companies, from Jack Daniels they'

have 60 000 000 dollars each year. Just from 1

alcohol

. But how much alcohols are in their country? But, even

alcohol

Correct word choice

though alcohol

show examples

is a really good chance to earn money for everyone, not everyone can buy it.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

teenagers can not buy it if they are less than 18 years. Or BUM's, they can just buy a spirit. So in ,

end

Correct article usage

the end

show examples

recommend not thinking much about why the

government

let people buy

alcohol

. Because It is a really good way to earn. So I think after

this

essay some people know something new about

alcohol

. Thanks for paying attention

for

Change preposition

show examples

my essay

Submitted by yokubjon_nurullaev on Sat Dec 17 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Smoking and alcohol consumption are injurious to health. Then why does the business of tobacco and liquor still continue?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists.Others, however,believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.