Some people work for the same organisation in all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some individual would agree to
work
in the same institutions
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
their entire career.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, others believe
to seek
Change preposition
that seeking
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
with multiple companies would be better.
This
essay would argue that,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
working in the same company gives stability, others would prefer to
work
for different establishments that
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
more professional growth. I
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
believe
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
a lot of
experience
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives more
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
opportunity to enhance
professional
Correct pronoun usage
my professional
show examples
skills.  Employees opted to stay in the same agency for the rest of their lives because of the comforts they enjoyed at
work
.
Moreover
, it would be the familiarization of the same routine in
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
description
that is
being applied and the established rapport among colleagues.
For instance
, Philippines, the unemployment rate is still high wherein workers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
no choice but to stick
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
the same agency until the contract
would be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
terminated rather than being jobless.
However
, I believe if men and women would venture to
work
in different organizations it would bring better career advancement.
On the other hand
, engaging with different organisations
learned
Verb problem
taught
show examples
many exposure to people's
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
, languages and institutional policies.
In addition
, wide
experience
, knowledge, good communication and skills gained from different firms possibly offer attractive
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
and
high- level
Correct your spelling
high-level
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
.
For example
, recently an employer in Kuwait recruited in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
and
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
to hire applicants with Middle
East
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
experience
who could converse very well in
arabic
Change the capitalization
Arabic
show examples
. I,
therefore
, believe as the saying goes that "
experience
is the best teacher". In conclusion,
although
some people
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to settle in the same workplace for security
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
but less opportunity to grow as human beings
whilst
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I, believe in the
others
Change noun form
other's
others'
show examples
view, it would be more rewarding to engage with different companies because
this
gives more essence to their chosen profession.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all aspects of the prompt, presenting both views clearly and articulating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay to improve coherence and cohesion. Use clear topic sentences, transitions, and establish a clear flow of ideas.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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