Some people work for the same organisation in all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individual would agree to
work
Use synonyms
in the same institutions
in
Change preposition
for
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their entire career.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, others believe
to seek
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that seeking
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job
Add an article
a job
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with multiple companies would be better.
This
Linking Words
essay would argue that,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
working in the same company gives stability, others would prefer to
work
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for different establishments that
provides
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provide
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more professional growth. I
,
Remove the comma
apply
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believe
with
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that
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a lot of
experience
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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gives more
better
Correct article usage
a better
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opportunity to enhance
professional
Correct pronoun usage
my professional
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skills.  Employees opted to stay in the same agency for the rest of their lives because of the comforts they enjoyed at
work
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.
Moreover
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, it would be the familiarization of the same routine in
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
description
that is
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being applied and the established rapport among colleagues.
For instance
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, Philippines, the unemployment rate is still high wherein workers
has
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have
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no choice but to stick
on
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with
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the same agency until the contract
would be
Wrong verb form
is
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terminated rather than being jobless.
However
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, I believe if men and women would venture to
work
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in different organizations it would bring better career advancement.
On the other hand
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, engaging with different organisations
learned
Verb problem
taught
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many exposure to people's
culture
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cultures
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, languages and institutional policies.
In addition
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, wide
experience
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, knowledge, good communication and skills gained from different firms possibly offer attractive
salary
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salaries
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and
high- level
Correct your spelling
high-level
show examples
position
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positions
show examples
.
For example
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, recently an employer in Kuwait recruited in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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and
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
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to hire applicants with Middle
East
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
who could converse very well in
arabic
Change the capitalization
Arabic
show examples
. I,
therefore
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, believe as the saying goes that "
experience
Use synonyms
is the best teacher". In conclusion,
although
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some people
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
to settle in the same workplace for security
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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but less opportunity to grow as human beings
whilst
Correct word choice
apply
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I, believe in the
others
Change noun form
other's
others'
show examples
view, it would be more rewarding to engage with different companies because
this
Linking Words
gives more essence to their chosen profession.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all aspects of the prompt, presenting both views clearly and articulating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay to improve coherence and cohesion. Use clear topic sentences, transitions, and establish a clear flow of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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