IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

More and more people move from the countryside to big cities. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages to the environment?

#people #move #countryside #cities #development #environment
recently many people go from the environment to the big
city
 to change their life or even to fulfil their family who is living in the village where they stay. In
this
 essay, I would like to explain more about the advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
 as what we see in the
city
 nowadays, it provides many job vacancies compared to the
countryside
. of ,course living in the
city
 brings more income and development to the community in the village to change their life.
in addition
, these types of people will get more saving money and it will give them the opportunity to live life happily and be more satisfied.
hence
, moving to the
city
 from the
countryside
 is
such
 a good development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a person.
secondly
, since living in the
city
 lead to a place to get a higher salary, a group of people from the
countryside
 tend to be a favourite place for seeking additional income to feed their family in the villages.
besides
, they can
also
 save more money for making a small business in the village later after retiring from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours in the
city
. to sum up,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do believe living in the
city
 brings opportunities to a local person from the
countryside
 a good activity in the future whether to their lifestyle or their family.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: