some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools . others, however, believe taht boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by some that a
university
degree can bring prospective
work
, while others think that it is better to skip
university
time and directly start to build a
career
. In my opinion, there are some jobs which require academic
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, but
also
there are others where more important
long
Add a missing verb
is long
show examples
work
experience
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
background.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints. On the one hand, there is an opinion that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education is essential for building a future
career
and can be very problematic to find good
work
without a diploma. To put it
in other words
, companies look for the best candidates and request the relevant background in a particular area. It is difficult to argue against
this
view as long as
such
areas of employment as,
for instance
, medical or engineering fields require
a certain knowledge
Remove the article
certain knowledge
a piece of certain knowledge
show examples
, and it is impossible to get a job in these areas without an academic base.
On the other hand
, many disagree and claim that
university
knowledge is not a vital part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
getting a good job and
work
Correct word choice
that work
show examples
experience
is more crucial.
In other words
, if
candidate
Correct article usage
a candidate
show examples
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
to
work
right after graduating from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, he/she gets
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
necessary
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in practice and can achieve (?)
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career
goals faster,
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
opponents who spend
this
time in
university
.
This
may be true for some particular jobs, especially in some commercial or marketing spheres, where is more important to have personal skills as a communicative which can be easily gotten during the
work
.
For example
, if youngsters started to
work
as an assistant in a commercial field, it would be possible that in 1 year they will be promoted
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specialist, and in 3 years will be a significant
experience
. To conclude,
although
it is still believed by many that a
university
degree is a crucial thing for achieving
career
goals, others advocate that it is better to get
work
experience
into the
work
process. In my opinion, it all
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
field, and
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
diploma is very essential for professions
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
doctor or
engineer
Wrong verb form
engineering
show examples
, while there are specialities where
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
background is not a significant part and more important to have a long
work
experience
in some areas
such
as marketing or commerce.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: