IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people today would argue that cinemas are becoming irrelevant due to new streaming services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cinemas #services
There is no doubt that
cinema
 plays a significant role in
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
show examples
 industry. Some
people
 believe that
due to
 the various online streaming platforms, movie
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
 are less
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 by individuals nowadays. Personally, I partially agree with
this
 statement because of
rationales
Correct article usage
the rationales
show examples
followings
Correct your spelling
following
show examples
. To commence with,
due to
Correct article usage
the availablility
show examples
availablility
Correct your spelling
availability
 of movies and web series in a single platform,
people
are not only enjoy
Change the verb form
are not only enjoying
show examples
 in their desired place but
also
 they can watch anything
according to
 their mood.
For instance
, Netflix and Amazon Prime are the most popular online
screaming
Correct your spelling
streaming
show examples
 websites in various
coun tries
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
, and
also
 available
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheaper rates which attracts more individuals.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, it is undeniable that after covid pandemic most of the upcoming movies are now released at
over the top
Add a hyphen
over-the-top
show examples
 (OOT) platforms.
Therefore
, these are the reasons why
people
 are going towards online platforms.
On the other hand
, many
people
 argue that
cinema
 is still popular among
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 weekends working
people
 and teenagers are more likely to go with their
acquaintance
Fix the agreement mistake
acquaintances
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 and families, watch
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 pictures and spend quality time with them.
Furthermore
, if movies are
watching
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a theater
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theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
, the experience is real, it feels like a person
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 actually
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 the character, emotions which is somehow not possible
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 electronic devices.
Thus
,
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
cinema
 is still relevant. In conclusion, due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 benefits of
over the top
Add a hyphen
over-the-top
show examples
 (OTT)
such
 as they are cheaper and
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
very flexible
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
cinema
 is
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 factor that plays
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 role in humans life because they can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 free time with their loved ones.
Submitted by priyankagill824 on

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