Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime

Rising crime among young individuals is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
problem in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries. There are several factors
caused
Correct pronoun usage
that caused
show examples
the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime. The major factor is lack of education,
such
as race, social status, economy, and cultural identity.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
does not have awareness of them. Another factor is
Correct article usage
the
show examples
loss of attention in
family
Add an article
a family
the family
show examples
which means that families may not attention to their children.
For instance
, parents do not probably know their desires and how to get adequate love.
Third
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The third
show examples
factor is difficulty in finding an
occupation
.
This
leads to
be
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being
show examples
involved in illegal activities which is to be stealing money to continue their life. Turning to
possible
Add an article
a possible
show examples
solution, an obvious step would be
volunteering
Correct article usage
a volunteering
show examples
course to support
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
not have
occupation
Add an article
an occupation
the occupation
show examples
. If we took
this
step, it could change their life to get
occupation
.
A second solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
Second solutions
A second solution
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might be open many anti-violence courses that
helps
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help
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children learn
way
Add an article
the way
a way
show examples
of violence to avoid
commit
Change the form of the verb
committing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime.
Finally
, Young people should develop themselves to learn
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
and read books.
It
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
would be prevented from using weapons. In summary, the factors of lack of education
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
loss of family’s attention and difficulty in finding
occupation
appear to be the main causes. A volunteering program and
anti- violence
Correct your spelling
anti-violence
show examples
courses can
be lessening
Wrong verb form
lessen
show examples
the crimes among young people.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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