Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime
Rising crime among young individuals is loss of attention in
main
problem in most Change the article
the main
of
Change preposition
apply
the
countries. There are several factors Correct article usage
apply
caused
the increase Correct pronoun usage
that caused
of
Change preposition
in
the
crime. The major factor is lack of education, Correct article usage
apply
such
as race, social status, economy, and cultural identity. Linking Words
Government
does not have awareness of them. Another factor isAdd an article
The government
Correct article usage
the
family
which means that families may not attention to their children. Add an article
a family
the family
For instance
, parents do not probably know their desires and how to get adequate love. Linking Words
Third
factor is difficulty in finding an Change the article
The third
occupation
. Use synonyms
This
leads to Linking Words
be
involved in illegal activities which is to be stealing money to continue their life. Turning to Change the verb form
being
possible
solution, an obvious step would be Add an article
a possible
volunteering
course to support Correct article usage
a volunteering
them
who Correct pronoun usage
those
does
not have Correct subject-verb agreement
do
Use synonyms
occupation
. If we took Add an article
an occupation
the occupation
this
step, it could change their life to get Linking Words
occupation
. Use synonyms
A second solutions
might be open many anti-violence courses that Correct the article-noun agreement
Second solutions
A second solution
helps
children learn Change the verb form
help
way
of violence to avoid Add an article
the way
a way
commit
Change the form of the verb
committing
the
crime. Correct article usage
apply
Finally
, Young people should develop themselves to learn Linking Words
a
new Correct article usage
apply
thing
and read books. Fix the agreement mistake
things
It
would be prevented from using weapons. In summary, the factors of lack of education Correct pronoun usage
They
and
loss of family’s attention and difficulty in finding Correct word choice
apply
occupation
appear to be the main causes. A volunteering program and Use synonyms
anti- violence
courses can Correct your spelling
anti-violence
be lessening
the crimes among young people.Wrong verb form
lessen
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite