Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world

The processes

such

industralization

Correct your spelling

industrialisation

and globalization changed our ways of living in many different points, one of them is that new generations tend to spend less and less

time

outside, in

nature

. Not only there are

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

green

areas

around due to the process of urbanization, but

also

people have less

time

to actually visit

nature

. Since fresh air and physical activity are crucial for our health, children are obliged to enjoy

nature

more often. Nowadays, as most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people live in cities, they are surrounded by

bulidings

Correct your spelling

buildings

and highways, having

minimum

Add an article

a minimum

the minimum

show examples

amount of trees and green

areas

around. Not only that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but adults are considered to work at least 8h a day which

is mostly spend

Change the verb form

is mostly spent

show examples

indoors.

Consequently

, children spend the same amount of their

time

kindergardens

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

kindergartens

or schools, having mostly no interaction with

nature

Therefore

, people have to put in extra effort to actually visit

nature

due to the shortage of

time

and green

areas

around. Not to mention that

nature

brings so much to one’s physical and mental health.

Unpolutted

Correct your spelling

Unpolluted

air and

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

, spacious environment are

also

crucial for

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

development and growth. Equally, peaceful sounds and

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

surroundings are rehabilitation tools for every human being that can be found only in

nature

. Thereupon, families should try to gather in

nature

as often as they can, especially during the weekends when there is considerably more free

time

. To summarize it may be more difficult now than ever before but it is vital for youngsters to frequently escape urban

areas

. Their parents are

also

asked to accompany them as

nature

brings only the good.

Accordingly

nature

perfect

Correct article usage

the perfect

show examples

weekend getaway.

Submitted by nick.winsly on Mon Dec 19 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact in local culture. What do you think have been the impact? Do you think the advantage overweigh disadvantage?

Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+