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Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world
The processes
such
 as
industralization
Correct your spelling
industrialisation
 and globalization changed our ways of living in many different points, one of them is that new generations tend to spend less and less
time
 outside, in
nature
. Not only there are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 green
areas
 around due to the process of urbanization, but
also
 people have less
time
 to actually visit
nature
. Since fresh air and physical activity are crucial for our health, children are obliged to enjoy
nature
 more often. Nowadays, as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people live in cities, they are surrounded by
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and highways, having
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
the minimum
show examples
 amount of trees and green
areas
 around. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but adults are considered to work at least 8h a day which
is mostly spend
Change the verb form
is mostly spent
show examples
 indoors.
Consequently
, children spend the same amount of their
time
 in
kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
kindergartens
 or schools, having mostly no interaction with
nature
.
Therefore
, people have to put in extra effort to actually visit
nature
 due to the shortage of
time
 and green
areas
 around. Not to mention that
nature
 brings so much to one’s physical and mental health.
Unpolutted
Correct your spelling
Unpolluted
 air and
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
, spacious environment are
also
 crucial for
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
 development and growth. Equally, peaceful sounds and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 surroundings are rehabilitation tools for every human being that can be found only in
nature
. Thereupon, families should try to gather in
nature
 as often as they can, especially during the weekends when there is considerably more free
time
. To summarize it may be more difficult now than ever before but it is vital for youngsters to frequently escape urban
areas
. Their parents are
also
 asked to accompany them as
nature
 brings only the good.
Accordingly
,
nature
 is
perfect
Correct article usage
the perfect
show examples
 weekend getaway.
Submitted by nick.winsly on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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