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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world
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The processes
such
Linking Words
 as
industralization
Correct your spelling
industrialisation
 and globalization changed our ways of living in many different points, one of them is that new generations tend to spend less and less
time
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 outside, in
nature
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. Not only there are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 green
areas
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 around due to the process of urbanization, but
also
Linking Words
 people have less
time
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 to actually visit
nature
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. Since fresh air and physical activity are crucial for our health, children are obliged to enjoy
nature
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 more often. Nowadays, as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people live in cities, they are surrounded by
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and highways, having
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
the minimum
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 amount of trees and green
areas
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 around. Not only that
,
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apply
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 but adults are considered to work at least 8h a day which
is mostly spend
Change the verb form
is mostly spent
show examples
 indoors.
Consequently
Linking Words
, children spend the same amount of their
time
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 in
kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
kindergartens
 or schools, having mostly no interaction with
nature
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people have to put in extra effort to actually visit
nature
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 due to the shortage of
time
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 and green
areas
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 around. Not to mention that
nature
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 brings so much to one’s physical and mental health.
Unpolutted
Correct your spelling
Unpolluted
 air and
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
, spacious environment are
also
Linking Words
 crucial for
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
show examples
 development and growth. Equally, peaceful sounds and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
 surroundings are rehabilitation tools for every human being that can be found only in
nature
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. Thereupon, families should try to gather in
nature
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 as often as they can, especially during the weekends when there is considerably more free
time
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. To summarize it may be more difficult now than ever before but it is vital for youngsters to frequently escape urban
areas
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. Their parents are
also
Linking Words
 asked to accompany them as
nature
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 brings only the good.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
nature
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 is
perfect
Correct article usage
the perfect
show examples
 weekend getaway.
Submitted by nick.winsly on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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