IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #dependence
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The issues that are posed by a demographical
situation
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 are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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critical importance for any government to address. While many nations are 'getting older', other countries are finding themselves in the opposite
situation
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, with a predominant share of
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
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 population.
This
Linking Words
 essay will compare
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of
such
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Use synonyms
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
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. One of the most important benefits of having a younger population is the size of the workforce that
such
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nation
Correct article usage
a nation
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 has.
This
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 not only allows
to plan
Change the verb form
planning
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 for large-scale projects but
also
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 provides resources to care for an older generation. Nowadays, many highly developed nations are in the opposite
situation
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. Their population is getting older and they are struggling to find resources to fund the pension system and
to
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apply
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support the growing number of older
people
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. While it is beneficial for a government to have a large number of
people
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 who are able to work, one downside that these countries might have is the lack of experienced
people
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. If we look at many organizations we will often see more older
people
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 who are occupying leadership roles. If a nation has a shortage of senior leaders for any reason, it will naturally affect the quality of
their
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the
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organizations'
Change noun form
organization's
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 decisions. To conclude, in my point of view the advantages of having a larger share of young adults
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the possible disadvantages. To have a large workforce is a major benefit that a country might have and an important condition not only to plan for
a
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the
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 future
,
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apply
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 but to bring it into reality.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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