IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people use distance learning program to study at home , but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or university. To what extent do you agree and disagree

#people #distance #program #study #home #benefit #college #university
Nowadays, many
people
 think that studying at a college or university is better and the best alternative
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 studying at home . In paragraphs to come ,we shall see both
she
Correct pronoun usage
her
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 and l shall put forth my views. To know more deeply, it is true that
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 study is an old
method
. In
this
 terms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
modern
people
 are keen to replace it with internet resources and comforts . On top of that , many
people
 are learning online and online learning is better and more convenient, as they will
acquires
Change the verb form
acquire
show examples
 knowledge and knowledge.
For instance
, many
people
applies
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have duties so they always learn at home . They
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to attend college or university but they can conduct their online class according to their schedules.
On the other hand
 when thinking it is
clean
Correct your spelling
clear
show examples
 that online education cannot replace the old
method
 of teaching . As
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
changes can
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their interpersonal skills ,
such
 as communication and cooperation with peers .ln
this
 regards face to face communication is crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students . Due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 they enhance more knowledge and will become a good leader and speaker in the future.
For example
 , who cannot or do not make an effort
communicate
Fix the infinitive
to communicate
show examples
 with other
people
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will turn to lack can damage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their career opportunities . In conclusion,
although
 many
people
 become of the opinion
online
Correct word choice
that online
show examples
 studying is beneficial for citizens ,
therefore
 with regarding
method
.
Add a missing verb
is .
show examples
 I believe and know that students should be taught at
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 and other academic institutions. What's more, most students and citizens benefit
distance
Change preposition
from distance
show examples
 learning. Distance learning become
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
method
 and most
people
 continue to use
this
method
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
distance learning cannot replace the old
method
.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • Flexibility
  • Convenience
  • Self-paced
  • Remote areas
  • Specializations
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Affordable
  • Self-discipline
  • Time management
  • Independent work
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Professional networks
  • Collaborative learning
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Technological issues
  • Reliable internet
  • Educational experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: