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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

PEOPLE’S SHOPPING HABITS DEPEND MORE ON THE AGE GROUP THEY BELONG TO THAN OTHER FACTORS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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In
this
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 contemporary epoch,
people
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 have become more
shopaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics
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 than past and
also
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, they want to buy those
things
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 which are in trend. I partially disagree with the above statement that the shopping habits of
people
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 more depends on the age group they belong to than others. In
this
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 essay, I will give some strong reasons to support my opinion.
To begin
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 with, rich
people
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 tend to shop more than poor ones.
This
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 is not necessary that their needs are greater. They buy more
things
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 because they can afford them. In the same way, poor
people
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 cannot afford to shop frequently because of their financial status. They can afford the stuff which they need.
As a result
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, age group does not matter in shopping habits.
Secondly
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,
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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social status
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a prominent role. So,
people
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 are influenced by others just because of showing their social status. It does not matter how
the age
Correct word choice
old
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people
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 are.
On the other hand
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, older
people
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 do not have that much knowledge of trendy
things
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.
Moreover
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, they do not have more interest in shopping as compared to younger
people
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.
Firstly
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, older
people
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 are monotonous by nature and they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not active on social media.
For example
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, it is more common among youngsters to show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisements on social platforms and they are often following their favourite celebrities on social stages and they are influenced to buy
things
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 that may or may not afford. Agglomerating all the points elaborated, I would like
to conclude
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 that
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not a major factor responsible for shopping habits. Richness and poverty matter a lot more than any other factors.

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task achievement
Clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Better organize your essay with clear paragraph structure and topic sentences.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and expressions.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • shopping habits
  • age group
  • generational differences
  • individual preferences
  • interests
  • socioeconomic factors
  • cultural influences
  • marketing strategies
  • advertising
  • online shopping
  • technology
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