IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 254 words.

#people #country #materials #goods #production
With industrialization around the world, many countries are trying to develop more materials and goods to have a stable economy and the
production
 of these materials has been their ultimate goal.
However
, I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement and the following essay will elaborate
further
 with examples. Commencing, as the world is developing at a fast pace a plethora of countries are focusing only on one goal which is the
production
 of products. But there are other targets which governments should focus on
such
 as education and health.
Thus
, focusing on rapid development in items will only enhance one part of the economy,
hence
 when every sector of a
country
 is given equal attention
this
 would be more appropriate and the goals can be accomplished. As an example, if a developing
country
 like Sri Lanka, focuses only on the
production
 of textiles and other buildings the outcome will be devastating and
industries
such
 as education will have a great downfall. Even though enhancements in
production
 lines develop a
country
this
 will eventually have a downfall in the economy in the future.
On the other hand
, the continuous expansion of fabrications will bring threats to employees and employers who are working in those
industries
. As an example, as they are given a target date to complete the manufacture or delivery the pressure workers get is high
thus
, within a few years eventually the workforce will fall sick and there will be no employees working in
industries
.
Therefore
, regular assembly increment brings tremendous pressure on people and
this
 is not an appropriate goal that countries should focus on.
In contrast
, I completely disagree that good and material manufacture should be the
first
 and foremost goal of a
country
 because there are other
industries
 that authorities should focus on equally and continuous inputs in
production
 leads to serious consequences for employees.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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