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Band 6

Some people believe that mobile phone conversations should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #phone #conversations #places
A few individuals argued that talking on the cell phone ought to
prohibited
Add a missing verb
be prohibited
show examples
 in overcrowded and public
areas
 ,while other opinions opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 view. From my point of view, restriction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
talking on the smartphone
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crowded places would not be
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 idea for humans. For most, communication on the telephone
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
areas
 could be
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 uncomfortable situation.
Todays
Correct your spelling
Today
show examples
, in our modernized life individuals
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 their every
tasks
Change to a singular noun
task
show examples
 on the roads,
buses
Change preposition
in buses
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,
Change preposition
in taxi
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taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
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 and while they are walking because of lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. And,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 kind of
situation
Add a comma
,situation
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 if someone
phoning
Wrong verb form
phones
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 with somebody
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
devise
Replace the word
device
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, it can be
unpleased
Add an article
the unpleased
an unpleased
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 situation for people who are making
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 or
herself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 errands.
For example
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 children doing their
hometask
Correct your spelling
home task
 while they are going to school on the bus or road, and if someone
communicate
Change the verb form
communicates
show examples
 on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 cell phone after it may prevent them to accomplish their tasks.
Thus
,
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overcrowded
areas
 should be forbidden.  
However
, restriction of phoning in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overcrowded
areas
 may not be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 solution to many problems. Some think that with the process of prohibited dialoguing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 was full of people, we can avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
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certain problems, but
this
 thinking can
be nickel-and-dime
Change the verb form
be nickel-and-dimed
show examples
, because
instead
 of
this
 process, it may be
problem
Add an article
a problem
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 for some.
For instance
, when someone walking
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 public place meanwhile
this
 person should accept a call from
her
Correct pronoun usage
their her
his her
her her
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 or
him
Change the pronoun
his
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 job about is he or she
recruit
Change the verb form
recruits
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 to work or not, and
this
Correct word choice
if this
show examples
 person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not take the call after he or she may
Replace the word
loses
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looses
Change the verb form
loose
show examples
 respect.
Therefore
, individuals should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
conservation
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
everywhere. To conclude,
although
 some advantages of restriction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
phoning
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the community
areas
such
 as
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 the uncomfortable condition, I feel that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not prohibit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dialoguing can be far more worthwhile.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disrupt
  • Infringe
  • Social rudeness
  • Public transport
  • Necessity
  • Convenience
  • Emergencies
  • Personal freedom
  • Designated areas
  • Compromise
  • Context
  • Advocating
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