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Band 4

With an increasing percentage of the population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree?

#percentage #population #internet #text #face #communication
With an increasing percentage of the population communicating via the internet and text messaging,
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 communication will become a thing of the past, in my essay, I'll give discuss
this
 topic and make
opinion
Add an article
an opinion
show examples
 on it.
First
 of all, remote
contacting
Wrong verb form
contact
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 means has developed since the nineteenth century, starting
from
Change preposition
with
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telegraph
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the telegraph
show examples
, followed by the Telephone, and the big breakthrough came with the internet in the twentieth century, internet brought the e-mail, but what really changed the means of how
people
interacts
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interact
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 together was the invention of the cellular and specifically the smartphone
in addition
 to social media applications and the texting apps,
such
 as Whatsapp and the similar stuff. All these
modernday
Correct your spelling
modern-day
modern day
 technological advancements, made it easier to communicate with each other, regardless of the place and time, In the old
days
Change to a genitive case
day's
days'
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people
 had to make some effort to find each other to talk to each other, now it's too easy and inexpensive
to
Replace the word
too
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. But does the advancement in the means
communication
Change preposition
of communication
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 technology
prevents
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevent
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persons
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people
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 from sitting together?
,
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apply
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 as a matter of fact,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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from my point of view, it played a role in making individuals
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 more and more distant, even within the same family members. In my
Opinion
Fix capitalization
opinion
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, Yes, the advanced communication
technoloy
Correct your spelling
technology
,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 putting
people
a part
Correct your spelling
apart
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,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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this
 is varying from one society to the other depending on how developed it is, it can be noticed in rich and
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
 countries, but in less-developed and low-income ones,
people
 still sort to old fashion ways.
Submitted by ahmedmalorabi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Digital communication
  • Societal norms
  • Online communication
  • Younger generations
  • Quality of personal relationships
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional depth
  • Remote work
  • Virtual meetings
  • Physical presence
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Resilience
  • Irreplaceable
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Personal connection
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