There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To motivate and retain
skillful
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skilful
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and talented people in the workforce of our
ever fast changing
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ever-fast-changing
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society, many companies have been contemplating what the most important factors are in their employees' perspectives. Because capitalism and materialism are two of the most significant driving principles of societal growth, one would argue that
money
must be the most important factor. It's obvious that tangible rewards
such
as commissions, bonuses and promotions are always given to individuals based on their performances, all of these rewards are distributed in the form of
money
.
This
basic feedback mechanism has been working exceptionally well in terms of productivity for many centuries in Western countries. Progress and advancements in technology and
industrial
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the industrial
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revolution made
this
case clearer than ever. Financial gain allows
basic
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the basic
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working class to put bread and butter on the table,
to
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apply
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stay
cozy
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cosy
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under a roof and provide basic needs for the family.
Money
is especially important for these
grassroot
Correct your spelling
grassroots
people as it's impractical to pursue other non-monetary goals when you are just trying to make ends meet.
On the other hand
,
middle
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the middle
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to upper class often
stride
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strides
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for a more lucrative career path in order to accumulate wealth for other lifelong investments, which can often lead to early retirement and a more fulfilling, enjoyable later life. There are other factors like workplace
relationship
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relationships
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, job satisfaction and company social responsibility that can affect employees' prospects. Companies should
also
consider these aspects in order to maximise the development and retention of their workforce.
However
, when people have to make a choice in career or job change,
money
and
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
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promotion are two of the most significant elements that influence their choices.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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