IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many think that all decisions within a company should be made by managers whereas others feel it is better to include employees in the process. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#decisions #company #managers #employees #process
Theses
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 some people argue that
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 within a company must be made by bosses, while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think it is better for the employees to be involved.
This
 essay will discuss both views and in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will agree that it is better for
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 to be involved in making a decision. On one hand, one of the reasons why
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 should be for only managers is because it's the protocol or policy for the company to
decided
Change the form of the verb
decide
show examples
 for workers.
That is
 to say, some employers prefer to decide what to be done at the workplace in order to avoid conflicts between workers so that employees don't get
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
think that bosses have consulted only a few of them and by doing so, some organizations made it a protocol.
For example
, many people tend to argue a lot at their workstations when their boss
ask
Correct subject-verb agreement
asks
show examples
 for their opinions and
this
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 conflicts among them.
On the other hand
, despite the above view, l believe that workers should be consulted during the process of a final conclusion because
this
 helps the business to offer better services and make more profits.
In other words
, if the manager asks advice from some of the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 in the organization,
this
 will not only
enables
Change the verb form
enable
show examples
 the business to choose the best option but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
also
 contribute to the growth of the business
hence
 increasing profits and giving good services.
For instance
, research made in Uganda has shown that when managers are asked for advice from their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
, and they are considered, it increases the chances of the company
to grow
Change the verb form
growing
show examples
 faster. In conclusion,
although
 managers make sole-decision because it's a policy, in my opinion, l believe team decisions a better as they enable the organisation
grow
Add the particle
to grow
show examples
 faster
hence
 l hope in future group advice is considered before a final conclusion.
Submitted by jmeeme5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Centralized authority
  • Top-down approach
  • Autocratic leadership
  • Managerial hierarchy
  • Operational efficiency
  • Accountability
  • Competence
  • Employee empowerment
  • Participative decision-making
  • Workplace democracy
  • Morale
  • Consensus
  • Bottom-up approach
  • Cross-functional collaboration
  • Organizational culture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: