IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a “fat tax” is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods #“fat #tax”
Food
 habits play a pivotal role in the health of individuals. Consuming unhealthy foods would pose a threat to both individuals and the community. Whilst there are numerous restrictions that can be applied over the quality of
food
, there are some people who think that heavy
tax
 must be imposed on
such
 products.
This
 essay will discuss both views and my viewpoint will be shared. To commence with, adding an increased percentage of
tax
 on junk snacks is a straightforward approach. Authorities assessing the
cption
Correct your spelling
caption
 and mishandling of authorities. To conclude,
although
 adding a higher
tax
 on junk
food
 products is a good solution, the question remains on the ability to include
such
 initiatives in the current system .
Therefore
 I do not agree with the concept of adding
tax
 amounts,
instead
, in my perspective, government and
food
 departments must define quality check standards on all edible products that are available in the market and ensure that any product that does not meet the criteria will be banned from selling.
Submitted by arununni777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: