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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #advantage
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Working non-stop and spending no time to relax is
arising
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a rising
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 issue in the 21st century. It results in various issues for
people
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,
such
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 as
health
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 problems and family issues, despite the money
people
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 might get in the short term and the fame they might receive from their boss, colleagues, and others.
First
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 of all, sleep is one of the most fundamental leisure activities.
However
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, long hours of work causes a lack of sleep which is a critical factor in bad
health
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 condition. Loads of research show the benefits of sleeping.
For instance
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, sleep helps to detox pressure and anxiety from
people
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. The human brain can be easily damaged under constant high pressure.
Besides
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, human beings get energy recharge by sleeping. It means physical
health
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 will be impacted by lack of sleep too.
Moreover
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, gathering for fun activities,
such
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 as movies, cinema, and travel, is essential for the family, especially children. A strong family bond requires regular and positive interaction among every family member. Playing with kids brings the whole family closer.
In addition
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, children's personalities and social skill development can primarily benefit from playing with parents. Lack of family bonding often results in academic underperformance for children. More and more
people
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 have started to realize that overwork can be harmful to
people
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's
health
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 as well as their social life. If
people
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 do not take relaxation seriously, overwhelming disadvantages will hunt them down. We should focus more on finding the balance between work and life and spend more relaxing time with ourselves and our families.
Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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