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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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It has been a new norm that many
people
 lack
exercise
 during workdays and even weekends, and it causes serious issues physical and mental to their health. While there are plenty of reasons associated with the problem, I would argue that individuals and companies can certainly take steps to address the issues.
To begin
 with,
people
 were not doing as much
exercise
 as they needed for many reasons.
Firstly
, the workload has dramatically increased in recent years, and it results in no time for sports. Most of the jobs involve tight timetables
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 hard to add any things on top of it.
Secondly
, it is sometimes difficult to maintain the strong motivation of doing regular workouts.
For example
, I found myself lying on the sofa after a long working day and refusing to get up because watching Netflix on TV was way more attractive than sweating in the gym.
Finally
,
people
 often fail to realize the number of effort required to be good at sports,
such
 as yoga. and they eventually quit after the
first
 trial.
However
, I do believe that there are many ways to encourage adults to do more
exercise
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is true that sports can be demanding, perhaps
people
 can choose easy and small activities at
first
,
for example
, a small walk after dinner is better than nothing.
Moreover
, going to the gym with a companion
approved
Add a missing verb
is approved
show examples
 to be an excellent way of keeping up the motivation.
Lastly
, some employers have introduced reimbursement
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 in which staff can get refunds for sports-related expenses, like yoga classes. The HR departments of those companies received really positive feedback from their employees. In conclusion, I strongly believe that we can reverse the trend of doing less
exercise
 among
people
, though there are some inevitable factors that would not disappear soon.
Submitted by yokoyoko.ye on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
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