IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people use distance learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or universities. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #distance #program #study #home #benefit #college #universities
Many
people
 use distance learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 to study at home, but some
people
 think that it cannot bring the benefit as much
attending
Change preposition
as attending
show examples
 college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
. It is widely
rely
Wrong verb form
relied
show examples
 on that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 would rather study at home rather than
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
. I firmly agree with
this
 view that
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
face
 -to-
face
 conversation is vital. To clarify, it is true that
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 study is a broken-down method. In
this
regard
Add a comma
,regard
show examples
 modern
people
 are keen to substitute it with internet funds.
Furthermore
, online learning is
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
, as they will obtain knowledge .
For instance
 , many
people
 have duties at home so
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
show examples
 powerless to attend college or university but they can coordinate their online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 according to their schedules.
On the other hand
 , it is definite that online
education
 cannot replace the old method of teaching . As these changes can
negative
Change the adjective
negatively
show examples
 influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their interpersonal skills ,
such
 as communication and cooperation with the contemporary. In
this
regards
Change the noun form
regard
show examples
face
 to
face
Add a comma
,face
show examples
 communication is critical for the
students
 . Due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 they increase more knowledge and will turn into a good leader and speaker in the future .
For instance
, most
people
 who cannot communicate with other
people
 ,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will turn to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of confidence, because of which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can vitiate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their career opportunities. I think most
students
 agree with online
education
 because online
education
 is really dull and most
students
 don't gain knowledge well. There is no rule in online
education
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
ofline
Correct your spelling
online
offline
education
 is
effectable
Correct your spelling
effective
 for
students
.
For instance
, each student does
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 homework
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ofline
Correct your spelling
offline
 because the teacher
check
Correct subject-verb agreement
checks
show examples
 out their
hometask
Correct your spelling
home task
 and it is beneficial for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
. So I would rather select
ofline
Correct your spelling
offline
online
education
. In conclusion,
although
 many
people
 suppose online studying is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens. In regards , I rely on that
students
 should be taught at
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 and other academic institutions, as nowadays ,
distance acquiring
Add a hyphen
distance-acquiring
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cannot substitute the old methods.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: