IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Drug addiction has become enormous problem world wide. why this is happening and give solutions.

#drug #addiction #world
The
use
 of
drugs
 is not a new
phonemenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 because
people
 consumed
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
substances
 since the beginning of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human history.
However
, its usage increased substantially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years and many
people
 are becoming addicts of
substances
 like ecstasy, LSD, or heroin. Globalization and increased
stress
levels
 are the core components of the pervasiveness of drug
addiction
, and there are some measures to be taken in order to overcome
this
problem
. While globalization has many advantages by fostering efficiency in trading goods among different regions, harmful
substances
such
 as
drugs
 are now being carried to different continents easier than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. Access to multiple kinds of
drugs
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the
addiction
levels
 of many
people
 globally. Opium,
for instance
, was only being consumed by the
people
 from the Middle East where its plant can grow in
this
 region. With increased
effieciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 in trading routes, opium
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 now being carried thousands of miles away from the Middle
east
Change the capitalization
East
show examples
, leading the way for opium
addiction
 in,
for example
, South America. The more the transportation of these kinds of goods
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 convenient, the more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 can buy and consume
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
, increased
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
stress
 due to
intensity
Correct article usage
the intensity
show examples
 of work or classes,
problems
 with the family, or
problems
 like conforming
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the norms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society established
drugs
 as a way to escape those
problems
.
For example
, when someone faces financial difficulties and cannot find imminent solutions for
this
problem
, he or she will be more inclined to
use
drugs
 in order to forget about the things that cause anxiety.
Furthermore
, if someone does not feel peaceful with his or her family or partner, that person will
use
drugs
 in order to hinder himself from confronting the
problems
 he suffers. Augmented
stress
levels
 may lead
people
 to
substances
 that they didn't even think of using before. Increasing the
levels
 of control within trading routes can reduce the carriage of
drugs
 to different regions and
this
 may lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decreased access for
people
 to buy
drugs
. If the boats, planes, or trains that travel internationally have disciplined controlling mechanisms when entering a country, drug dealers will lose their proclivity to carry those materials.
Also
,
people
 might be encouraged to combat
stress
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 different activities that foster mental well-being.
For example
, companies can encourage their employees to reduce their
stress
 by giving them a bonus in their salaries for entertainment activities. Another solution might be educating the children about the deleterious effects of
drugs
 and making them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
get used to different activities that
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 their
stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
positiviely
Correct your spelling
positively
. In conclusion, growing
levels
 of drug
addiction
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 an important
problem
 among societies. The effects of globalization on the
use
 of the trade routes have increased the availability of
drugs
,
also
stress
 and anxiety among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 have led them to escape their
problems
 by consuming these
substances
.
Although
 the
problem
 is not easy to overcome, there are some solutions that can effectively decrease the
levels
 of
addiction
.
Submitted by busebahadir1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: