Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

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In recent years governments have allocated a part of their

buget

Correct your spelling

budget

Correct article usage

the environmet

show examples

environmet

Correct your spelling

environment

and its creatures like birds. It is stated by a great number of people that human and money resources devoted to them

Change the verb form

are

show examples

too much, and authorities pay a lot attention to

wild life

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

. I disagree with

mentioned

Add an article

the mentioned

show examples

statement, but not entirely.

Animals

Use synonyms

and volant are living on the earth next to humans, actually we humans have

eccuipped

Correct your spelling

equipped

their place and destroyed their untouched nature in order to make

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

living for

ownselves

Correct your spelling

ourselves

own selves

. So,

to begin

Linking Words

with, we own them a lot because we have been hurting them from different aspects since we decided to live in a society as a city. Doing so,

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

our obligation to

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

them

food

Change preposition

with food

show examples

and preserve them carefully as

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

as we can.

Secondly

Linking Words

, all the

creaturse

Correct your spelling

creatures

creature

living on the earth are connected to each other. we cannot deny the role of

animals

Use synonyms

even birds in our daily life.

Scientits

Correct your spelling

Scientists

by experimenting on them and observing their behaviours have invented several useful products and drugs to

acure

Correct your spelling

cure

acquire

many diseases.

For example

Linking Words

, wizards are able to inject a part of their body facing danger and grow it again, experts and

docters

Correct your spelling

doctors

by contributing with each other are

hopefull

Correct your spelling

hopeful

hopefully

to use it for fixing

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

mutlation

Correct your spelling

mutilation

mutation

However

Linking Words

Animals

Use synonyms

are

imprtant

Correct your spelling

important

and

the

Change the word

their

show examples

role

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is deniable in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, we cannot focus on them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

completely.

In every

Change preposition

Every

show examples

nations

Change to a singular noun

nation

show examples

still

remained

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

deprived

areas

Change preposition

of areas

show examples

where children are suffering from lacking food and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

do not

access

Add a missing verb

have access

show examples

to fresh and clean water.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Iran, there is a city named Zahedan that

almosty

Correct your spelling

almost

all its citizens are poor and needy, but

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has been spending money on maintaining tigers more than them.

To sum up

Linking Words

Use synonyms

animals

Change noun form

animals'

animal's

show examples

importance is irrefutable and our obligation is to preserve them because of ourselves and

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

however

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe it should not be

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

priority for presidents when we have

peniless

Correct your spelling

penniless

in our country who cannot live like normal people.

Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on Thu Dec 22 2022

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Task Response

The essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear position and does not provide a thorough analysis of the topic. There is a need to fully develop arguments and provide more comprehensive examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay shows some logical structure and presence of introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas are not well-connected, and the essay lacks consistency in presenting the arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.