Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

In recent years governments have allocated a part of their

buget

Correct your spelling

budget

Correct article usage

the environmet

show examples

environmet

Correct your spelling

environment

and its creatures like birds. It is stated by a great number of people that human and money resources devoted to them

Change the verb form

are

show examples

too much, and authorities pay a lot attention to

wild life

Correct your spelling

wildlife

show examples

. I disagree with

mentioned

Add an article

the mentioned

show examples

statement, but not entirely.

Animals

and volant are living on the earth next to humans, actually we humans have

eccuipped

Correct your spelling

equipped

their place and destroyed their untouched nature in order to make

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

living for

ownselves

Correct your spelling

ourselves

own selves

. So,

to begin

with, we own them a lot because we have been hurting them from different aspects since we decided to live in a society as a city. Doing so,

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

our obligation to

provid

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provide

them

food

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with food

show examples

and preserve them carefully as

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

as we can.

Secondly

, all the

creaturse

Correct your spelling

creatures

creature

living on the earth are connected to each other. we cannot deny the role of

animals

even birds in our daily life.

Scientits

Correct your spelling

Scientists

by experimenting on them and observing their behaviours have invented several useful products and drugs to

acure

Correct your spelling

cure

acquire

many diseases.

For example

, wizards are able to inject a part of their body facing danger and grow it again, experts and

docters

Correct your spelling

doctors

by contributing with each other are

hopefull

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hopeful

hopefully

to use it for fixing

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

mutlation

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mutilation

mutation

However

Animals

are

imprtant

Correct your spelling

important

and

the

Change the word

their

show examples

role

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is deniable in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, we cannot focus on them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

completely.

In every

Change preposition

Every

show examples

nations

Change to a singular noun

nation

show examples

still

remained

Wrong verb form

remains

show examples

deprived

areas

Change preposition

of areas

show examples

where children are suffering from lacking food and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

do not

access

Add a missing verb

have access

show examples

to fresh and clean water.

For instance

, in Iran, there is a city named Zahedan that

almosty

Correct your spelling

almost

all its citizens are poor and needy, but

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has been spending money on maintaining tigers more than them.

To sum up

animals

Change noun form

animals'

animal's

show examples

importance is irrefutable and our obligation is to preserve them because of ourselves and

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

however

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe it should not be

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

priority for presidents when we have

peniless

Correct your spelling

penniless

in our country who cannot live like normal people.

Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on Thu Dec 22 2022

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Task Response

The essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear position and does not provide a thorough analysis of the topic. There is a need to fully develop arguments and provide more comprehensive examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay shows some logical structure and presence of introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas are not well-connected, and the essay lacks consistency in presenting the arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
species extinction
wildlife conservation
sustainable development
ecosystem services
habitat destruction
endangered species
conservation efforts
natural heritage
human encroachment
poaching
genetic diversity
climate change
environmental stewardship
protection measures
wildlife sanctuary
biological significance
conservation biology
environmental advocacy

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Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking • ask about booking a different course

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 250 words.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?