IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks
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In recent times,
people
Use synonyms
 are drinking
drinks
Use synonyms
 which are sugar-based without knowing
outcomes
Correct article usage
the outcomes
show examples
 or they
drink
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for their health.
This
Linking Words
 disquisition will discuss the possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
 and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. To commence with, there are more
products
Use synonyms
 are in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to
drink
Use synonyms
 them more. The possible reason can be the advertisements that have been done by the manufacturer, they call their product
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an energy
drink
Use synonyms
 and they try to influence the younger generation because they believe that to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity the target age group should be youngsters.
In addition
Linking Words
,
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation
follow
Change the verb form
follows
show examples
 it blindly and it becomes a trend and everyone tries it and
this
Linking Words
 is how
marketting
Correct your spelling
marketing
 works. Another reason can be unawareness, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the results of having excessive
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of non-sugar-based
products
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 available but there is no point because individuals
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not even know, whether it is advantageous or disadvantageous for them.
For example
Linking Words
, an energy
drink
Use synonyms
 named
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
red-bull advertises its
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different platforms and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 signature quote is
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
redbull
Change the capitalization
Redbull
red bull
RedBull
show examples
 gives you wings which states that you become refreshed every time whenever you
drink
Use synonyms
 it. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem, advertisers should aware
people
Use synonyms
 about the outcomes of sugar-based
Use synonyms
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the content restriction should be written
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 big letters, which can be seen by individuals easily, and they get aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the product they are having.
For example
Linking Words
, many
products
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 have their description and safety precautions on their back but it is in very small letters and
people
Use synonyms
 ignores
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and later they get
suffer
Add the particle
to suffer
show examples
 from
disease
Add an article
a disease
show examples
 like high sugar. In conclusion, many
people
Use synonyms
 have sugar-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 without considering the outcomes, but they have to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 contents which are written on the back. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that having sugar-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 keeps them hydrated and refreshed but in the near
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 they can suffer from different diseases.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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