IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the aim of University education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of University education for both the individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
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University
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education
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 is seen by some
people
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 to provide
education
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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graduates in order to grab better jobs whereas others believe that
University
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education
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 serves a greater purpose for the students as well as
the
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apply
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society
this
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 essay will discuss both
the
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apply
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arguments and explain my support for the latter view
Firstly
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 looking at the
people
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 who think
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University
Correct article usage
a University
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education
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 aims to make individuals worthy of better jobs
this
Linking Words
 is because they believe that
by
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apply
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Having a
University
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 degree in one's resume has a good impression on the recruiter, thereby increasing the chances of a
well paid
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well-paid
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 job.
For instance
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,
survey
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a survey
the survey
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 was conducted by a local engineer in the city of Jammu. The results of
this
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 survey clearly indicated most of the working
people
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 who had taken
the
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a
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University
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education
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 were holding better positions at work than those who were without
the
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a
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University
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education
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.
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However
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,However
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 the group of
people
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 that believes in other benefits of
University
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education
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 have their arguments to support their view. They think
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University
Correct article usage
a University
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education
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 is a gateway for an individual to proceed into research where they can achieve something rare for themselves and can unlock the secrets that nature has to offer.
This
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 will lead to a greater benefit through developments in fields of medicine come
a
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apply
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technology and many other fields.
For
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instance
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,instance
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 the major breakthrough in the field of science
have
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has
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 taken place in
the
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apply
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laboratories mostly by
the
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apply
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scientists who have some
University
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education
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. In
this
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way
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,way
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this
Linking Words
education
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 ultimately
also
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 serves
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Is in
Unnecessary verb
In
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 my opinion if an individual wants a good job
University
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education
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 can definitely help,
However
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 that's not it's only our main purposeful stop individuals can achieve much better knowledge and a greater understanding of the world and nature. To conclude, an individual's aim and target can help to derive the different benefits of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
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education
Use synonyms
accordingly
Linking Words
Submitted by amaadgagroo on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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