Although family has a great influence on children’s life, it is the influence of outside the home that plays a bigger part in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is frequently argued that the
impacts
from family are more important than the influence of outside. In my view, I support that external
impacts
play an essential role in teenagers'
development
. Relatives and siblings who accompany
children
shape teenagers' personality and their world view in the incipient period. They are the
first
group who interacted with
children
. In the process,
children
learn what respect is and how to interact properly with others. If
children
behave impolitely or improperly, their relatives would remind them of their mistakes. Unlike outside, strangers would not point out your mistake in a gentle way. The knowledge which
children
learned from their siblings is necessary for their future
development
because
society
requires individuals to cooperate with others to achieve efficiency and effectiveness. With negotiation skills, they could be well accepted by
society
and find good employment.
Besides
, encouragement from
families
has
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
positive impact on
children
. When
children
fail to do something, it's the comforting words from
families
that let them back on track and never stop struggling.
Although
, thanks to advancing technology, the external
impacts
on teenagers' character are increasing year
on
Change preposition
after
show examples
year and gradually become the most influential one.
Firstly
, in the past, the connections between
children
and
families
weakened once the age of
children
reached 18 years old which is a legally dependent age in the majority of countries.
However
, in the new era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological improvement accelerated
this
process because social media gathers millions of people and acts as an online
society
.
Children
have the opportunity to communicate with others online
instead
of only making friends with their neighbours.
For example
, the research showed that apart from study and daily routine jobs, the average hour scion spent on social media is highly equal to 5 hours per day in China. The
time
period accounts for most of their free
time
. They literally have little
time
to stay with their
families
.
Therefore
,
scion
Correct article usage
the scion
show examples
dived into online
society
instead
of
families
.
Secondly
, only without parents' intervention,
the
Add a missing verb
do the
show examples
young resort to the capacity of dealing with conflicts by themselves and
also
address tough challenges independently, which they can learn from
society
instead
of their family.
For example
, if a child takes a trip with his friends
instead
of family, he will gain some power in decision-making maybe about which historic sites to visit and practise managing the budget. But if he travels with family, he is not the leader but acts as a follower. When they found that they were stalked by strangers, they would react to the threat immediately by calling an emergency number for help. What they learned from their parents are skills but what they learned from
society
would become their own experience.
Therefore
, their capacities are strengthened and well prepared for future challenges. A
society
which is more influential relative to the family is an arena where
children
become stronger. In a word, we should not underestimate the
impacts
of
families
, whereas the external environment is more influential in the young's
development
. To achieve sustainable
development
, it's worthwhile to spend more
time
in
society
.
Submitted by jiangchenxi789 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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