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Band 5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
There is an opinion that
people
 in our time
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 comfortable
life
 than
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 lived in previous times. I definitely agree with
this
 statement, because l can give some evidence in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 point of view.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 I
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 say about medicine and
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 of human
life
. Earlier
people
 live
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 around fifty years.
Now
Add the punctuation
,Now
show examples
this
 indicator can reach one hundred years.
This
 happened thanks to the achievements of science in medicine. Scientists have come up with new methods of treating complex diseases, invented medicines that were not previously available and medical devices that were not previously available to mankind.
Second
Add an article
A second
show examples
evidence
Correct quantifier usage
piece of evidence
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
technology
Add an article
a technology
the technology
show examples
 that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
 every day and makes our
life
 more effective. I mean mobile phones,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
ere
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 help us to communicate with relatives and friends
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, laptops which help us organise some work or study. Various applications for health, work and study, smart home services. All
this
 was not there before and all
this
 makes our
life
 on the 21
web
Change to a plural noun
webs
show examples
 more comfortable and of high quality. The
third
 point will be the development of infrastructure. Every year the space around us is developing:
new
Correct word choice
and new
show examples
 houses, schools, kindergartens, universities, shopping and business
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are being built. They
also
 plant plants and improve parks. All
this
 improves the environment
there
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 we live. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want
second
 time
say
Fix the infinitive
to say
show examples
 that nowadays
people
 definitely have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 comfortable and safe
life
 than several decades ago thanks to progress in the fields of medicine,
various
Correct word choice
and various
show examples
 technologies, as well as thanks to human
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
.
Submitted by mariyanice001 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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