Young people spend too much time and money following fashion trends (clothing, technology). To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

It is often considered that youngsters devote their crucial time and money to buying fashionable clothes and some smart gadgets.

Thus

Linking Words

I dissent from the notion which leads to a logical conclusion.

Body paragraph 1

Commencing, in modern times, the competition is rising

hence

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manyfold adults still fighting for their basic needs.

Although

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, teenagers should enhance their knowledge and polish their personalities so they can achieve their goals in

life

Use synonyms

because the following trends always distract young ones from their aim in

life

Use synonyms

For example

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, in Kota, Allen Career Institute provides better facilities for educational knowledge which is helpful for the students to fight in the all-India exam despite some educatees distracted from their goals because they indulge in trendy things.

However

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, the toppers from coaching centres are those who consistently do hard work without any deviation.

Body paragraph 2

Probing ahead, and being updated by time is good but the future is uncertain.

In other words

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, the teenage group have a mindset that they will earn a lot of money in the future so there is no need to work desperately the conditions changed nowadays a person who had done hard work at a young age could not suffer from the struggle in

life

Use synonyms

For instance

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, fashion trends can be followed in the future when you have well-settled

life

Use synonyms

and good saving.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, the masses should encourage their young generations to grind themselves at that age because when they grow older competition can be tough for them in each and every field of growth.

Therefore

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, better teaching would help them to focus on their goals without any deviation.

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Dec 24, 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Young people spend too much time and money following fashion trends (clothing, technology). To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh its disadvantages for the environment?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that money spend on technology development for space exploration is unjustified. They believe there are other beneficial ways to spend it. To what you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.