IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six moths working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter *Explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months *Say how your work could be done while you are away *Ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #moths #head #office #country #manager #*explain #months #*say #*ask
Dear Mr. George, I am writing
this
 letter to ask for
a
Remove the article
apply
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permission to
work
 at our company's
headquarter
Correct subject-verb agreement
headquarters
show examples
 in London, The United Kingdom for a half year. As you know, I've been promoted to assistant product manager and I am working hard to collaborate with my team to enhance the revenues and increase our brand reputation.
However
, I realised that some training sessions that held in the UK which is our head office
arranges
Wrong verb form
arranged
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 frequently. I am quite positive that the opportunity to
work
 with our company's headquarters for six months will
further
. With
this
 experience, I believe that I can enhance my working knowledge and give fabulous ideas related to the global market.
While
 I'm away, I will check my emails daily, and be available for emergency phone calls. Once I got back to the office, I would endeavour to
work
 extra hours in order to catch up on anything I had missed. I would need your support to get approval so that I can
work
 in our company's head office. I look forward to your positive reply. Best regards, Chaewon Kim
Submitted by seaofrain23 on

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Task Response
Clarify the reason for wanting to attend the training sessions held at the head office. Currently, it is mentioned, but not clearly connected to the overall objective.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and refine the transition between the paragraphs to ensure smoother readability. For instance, linking the experience gained in the HQ directly to how it will benefit the team here would help.
Task Response
The letter maintains a professional and polite tone throughout, which is suitable for a formal request to a manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
The closing is respectful and anticipates a positive reply, which leaves a good impression.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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