IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With all the problems in the world today, spedning money on space exloration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes.

#world #money #space #exloration #waste
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In recent decades, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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nations around the
world
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 significantly has spent a lot of
money
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for
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on
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universe
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 exploration. Those resources should be applied to the inside of the earth since putting
money
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 on technological improvements for astronauts or spaceships
is
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are
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 regarded as a serious
wastage
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waste
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. In
this
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 essay, I would like to explain how the nations should use the
money
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 for our
living-environment
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living environment
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.
First
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 of all, It is
the
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a
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 fact that in the
world
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 there are a number of
human-beings
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human beings
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 affected by detrimental illnesses
such
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 as Covid-19 or influenza.
For example
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, the difficulty of acquiring vaccinations for
the
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apply
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serious diseases has
been
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apply
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spread out regardless of developed and developing countries as there is
tendency
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a tendency
the tendency
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 to increase the price of injections because of the
high-demands
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high demands
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.
Therefore
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, the resources like currencies and actual
human-assistance
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human assistance
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has
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have
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 to be utilized to improve
human-welfare
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human welfare
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 or
researching
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research
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 new medicines not aiming for space exploration.
Secondly
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, NASA recently proved that
although
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 many countries
has
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have
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 been put more than
billion
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a billion
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 dollars of cash into
universe
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 developments, the actual success rate of launching
spaceship
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spaceships
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 is below 16%. Since
then
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, it has importantly been recommended that turning the purpose of
universe
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 exploration into helping worlds struggling with
starvations
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starvation
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, drought or climate
changes
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change
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 will be able to reduce the number of suffering individuals over the
world
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.
Thus
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,
the
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apply
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society and communities need to consider
the
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apply
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way to decrease
the
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apply
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world
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-influencing challenges
instead
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 of enhancing
universe
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 technology. In conclusion, the countries in the
world
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 have to put the resources to resolve the problems inside of the earth not the outside of the planet. In my opinion, saving
human-beings
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human beings
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 and providing assistance
for
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to
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the
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apply
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nature has
be
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been
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 to the
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first-priority
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first priority
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 rather than consuming
the
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a
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 massive amount of
money
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into
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
universe
Add an article
the universe
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.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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