In some country, young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before however, they are less happy what do you think are the causes of this? What solution do you suggest?

#country #people

It is an undeniable fact that nowadays in some

nation

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nations

show examples

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation

are

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not only

weltyer

Correct your spelling

welter

water

but

also

safer and healthier than ever before. They are less happy.

This

essay will discuss various reasons behind

this

trend and give some

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

to tackle

this

issue. on the one hand, there are many reasons behind

this

scenario.

Firstly

, they have become more materialistic to explain,nowadays

majority

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the majority

show examples

Add an article

the youngster

a youngster

show examples

youngster

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youngsters

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, mostly like to on their luxurious item. They mostly spend their

time

on gadgets so

as a result

, they do not give importance to their

relation

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relationship

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they

Correct word choice

and they

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come under stress and depression.

Moreover

youngster

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youngsters

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have

excessive

Add an article

an excessive

the excessive

show examples

workload

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workloads

show examples

Change preposition

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their work and study. Some young

people

do excessive work to earn money. They

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are

show examples

not able to spend their

time

with family.

Also

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,Also

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young

people

had

stress

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the stress

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

their

study

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studies

show examples

, so

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

relation

, get it disturbed

However

, there

are

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show examples

some

solution

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solutions

show examples

to solve

this

problem.

Firstly

, they should adopt simple life to elaborate, when

people

was

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were

show examples

leaving simple life in the past, they were happy with their

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

as well as work. If

people

adopt

simple

Correct article usage

a simple

show examples

lifestyle, they do not always try to show off they will become happy towards watch their family.

Furthermore

people

can spend their

time

with the family by going to trip, they can make their

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

better with family by organizing some occasions. To conclude young

people

have become more realistic and they have excessive

workload

Fix the agreement mistake

workloads

show examples

are the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

problem

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

, they can remain happy if they adopt simple life and start spending

time

with each other

Submitted by manpreetjoshan77 on Sun Dec 25 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some country, young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before however, they are less happy what do you think are the causes of this? What solution do you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.