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Band 4.5

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills, but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
In the
first
 line of
this
 essay, I should maintain that
,
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apply
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 you cannot find any person who wants a dark fate for his children. Because of the difference of society members, they have
distinct
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a distinct
show examples
opinion
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opinions
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for
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about
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 the
shing
Correct your spelling
shining
 future of their babies. one of These
believes
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beliefs
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 diversity is in education that everybody believe
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good education
is play
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plays
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 an axial role in
glamorous
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a glamorous
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 fate. A
group
 of
human
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humans
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 think the best thing for training in
school
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a school
show examples
 is
skills
 while there we have another
group
 that think having a big range of subjects is pretty suitable for dear children. as far as I am concerned the
firs
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
group
 have better Point due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. I think the
first
group
 has better addressed
this
 discussion. All of us was a student
in
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apply
show examples
many or some years ago. I did not know your opinion but in my personal
opinion
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,opinion
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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skills
is
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are
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 more important. By the way of example, my cousin even not knowing his heart where
of
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apply
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his body but from
skills
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the skills
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 that he learned, he can earn excellent money. To analyze
second
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the second
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group
by
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apply
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according to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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researches
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research
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, giving so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 new information
in
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on
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 many subjects, can be distractive for
childrens
Correct your spelling
children's
children
brain
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brains
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 and can make them
terrible
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terribly
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 depressed because they cannot handle
this
 heavy
increasingly
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increasing
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 load. If you want to see the evidence, I have a sample in my family and you can see her. She went to the private school because of the
insist
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insistence
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 of her father and the heaviness of lessons and the pressure of home
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 make her crazy.
such
a
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apply
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regret for her father. I choose
first
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the first
show examples
group
 way because doing something is better
from
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than
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 reading so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
content
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contents
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 that you hate them. some wise told something wiser, never compare a monkey and a fish in climbing a tree if you do
this
 you are dumb. To sum up
this
 essay, every decision
needed
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toneeded
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 check every
aspects
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aspect
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, like your
children
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children's
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 IQ and interests. Any
was
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
this
 subject is so Controversial and anybody cannot decisively say which one is better either training
skills
 or teaching many subjects. But there is no change in parents' intention and they always have the best wishes for their kids.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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