Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. Discuss the effects lack of experience with and understanding of nature can have on children as they grow up. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#pace #life #children #time #indoors #exposure #world #effects #lack #nature

Nowadays, due to hectic life, many

children

prefer staying at home

instead

of exploring the natural

world

. At the

first

glance, it can seem normal but it is not There are many negative effects to discussing

this

issue. As it is known, technology has brought about many changes in

children

’s lives. Due to technology, everything has become so easy and reachable. Without making any effort,

children

spend most of their time indoors because they do not want to leave

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their comfort zone. Another effect is that every area has occupied by shopping malls and buildings. If

children

hang out with their friends, they choose to do the same things and go to the same places. Eventually, they get bored and they regret going out. They would rather play video games and watch tv programs than go anywhere. In

this

way, they become isolated from the

world

and become unsocial people.

In addition

, they do not know how to connect with others by doing

this

. Creating awareness among

children

is playing a crucial role to lessen these negative effects. Parents, government and social media have to cut down on

children

’s perception of

this

issue. In

this

way,

children

can understand and improve their skills and learn new things about the natural

world

because the

world

is still an open place to explore and it has evolved itself In conclusion, many

children

would rather spend most of their time indoors than outdoors. It has to amend because

children

are our future and we do not want to lose our future.

Submitted by alakaya97 on Sun Dec 25 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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