IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
In
this
 contemporary era, some individuals think that the public who
living
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 in the 21st century have
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
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 and
high-quality
Correct your spelling
higher quality
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 of lifestyle than that of the population who lived in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 time. I agree with the statement and give the reasons for my agreement in the body paragraphs. First and foremost, the advancements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology change the way
person
Correct article usage
a person
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live
Change the verb form
lives
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 his/her life. To explain, nowadays
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 devices
such
 as computers and
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 make
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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 work and life easy,
while
 in the past
people
 needed to
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 all
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 by
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
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.
Moreover
, in the old times quality of transportation
facilities
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 low
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the present.
For example
, seven decades before in India to travel 300km
it taken
Wrong verb form
took
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 serval days
while
 these days it only takes a few hours.
Thus
, 21st century technology makes
people
Change noun form
people's
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 lives more comfortable.
Additionally
, in the
past
Add a comma
past,
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 a number of
people
die
Wrong verb form
died
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due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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diseases that were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
impossible to
cured
Change the form of the verb
cure
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. To illustrate, in the 80s there were numerous diseases that infected humans and because of less medical
facilities
 and knowledge
people
end-up lost
Wrong verb form
ended up losing
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 lives,
while
, in
this
 modern era, medical
facilities
 provide all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medications and
cure
Correct subject-verb agreement
cures
show examples
.
For example
, in the past rabies was infected and killed a lot of
people
, which now become
common
Correct article usage
a common
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 infection because of the vaccine.
Therefore
, 21st century
people
more
Correct your spelling
are
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safe
Correct word choice
safer
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 than old times
people
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, technological advancements in transport and medical
facilities
,
also
Rephrase
such as
show examples
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of mobiles and laptops make
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives easy in all fields.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the task by presenting reasons that support the argument. However, it lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples, which lowers the overall task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is somewhat unclear and lacks a coherent flow of ideas. The introduction-conclusion present, however, does not effectively summarize the main points, impacting the score.
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