IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, some individuals think that the public who
living
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 in the 21st century have
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
show examples
 and
high-quality
Correct your spelling
higher quality
show examples
 of lifestyle than that of the population who lived in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 time. I agree with the statement and give the reasons for my agreement in the body paragraphs. First and foremost, the advancements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology change the way
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 his/her life. To explain, nowadays
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 devices
such
Linking Words
 as computers and
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 make
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 work and life easy,
while
Linking Words
 in the past
people
Use synonyms
 needed to
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 all
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 by
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the old times quality of transportation
facilities
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 low
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the present.
For example
Linking Words
, seven decades before in India to travel 300km
it taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 serval days
while
Linking Words
 these days it only takes a few hours.
Thus
Linking Words
, 21st century technology makes
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives more comfortable.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
 a number of
people
Use synonyms
die
Wrong verb form
died
show examples
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diseases that were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
impossible to
cured
Change the form of the verb
cure
show examples
. To illustrate, in the 80s there were numerous diseases that infected humans and because of less medical
facilities
Use synonyms
 and knowledge
people
Use synonyms
end-up lost
Wrong verb form
ended up losing
show examples
 lives,
while
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, medical
facilities
Use synonyms
 provide all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medications and
cure
Correct subject-verb agreement
cures
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past rabies was infected and killed a lot of
people
Use synonyms
, which now become
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 infection because of the vaccine.
Therefore
Linking Words
, 21st century
people
Use synonyms
more
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
 than old times
people
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, technological advancements in transport and medical
facilities
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
such as
show examples
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of mobiles and laptops make
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives easy in all fields.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay adequately addresses the task by presenting reasons that support the argument. However, it lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples, which lowers the overall task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is somewhat unclear and lacks a coherent flow of ideas. The introduction-conclusion present, however, does not effectively summarize the main points, impacting the score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Quality of life
  • Technological advances
  • Healthcare systems
  • Life expectancy
  • Information access
  • Digital tools
  • Comfort and convenience
  • Modern conveniences
  • Mental health
  • Environmental degradation
  • Urbanization
  • Human rights
  • Social advancement
  • Life satisfaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: