IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many societies, there is less social contact between the elderly and the young. What are the reasons and what measures can be taken?

#societies #contact #measures
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In the contemporary world, advanced technology has rapidly developed and
this
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 tendency has caused the elder
generation
Use synonyms
 and the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 to have a big gap in their differences in order to have their lifestyles as
being
Verb problem
having
show examples
 less social connection.
This
Linking Words
 essay will expound on and provide possible solutions to address them. To commence with, there are two major reasons causing
this
Linking Words
 tendency.
First,
Linking Words
youthful
Correct word choice
young
show examples
 people
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
smartphones to communicate with each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, some social science experts told us that younger ones kept their smartphones 24/7 hours in daily life, and did not use face-to-face ways to connect with each other.
This
Linking Words
 resulted in some older people having so hard to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 or
easier gave
Wrong verb form
giving
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 up advanced electronic devices and keeping in touch with their younger family members.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend would lead to the younger
generation
Use synonyms
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
ignoring the older people to have if they felt the old ones did not use advanced tech.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be the reason they have a big gap as different lifestyles and would lessen social communication. Even though these issues are serious, there are some solutions that can be taken.
To begin
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 with,
for example
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, some research says that its obvious measure is for social workers to hold some campaigns or events for families to participate in how to learn smartphones to connect to everyone
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to get both closely. Another possible measure is for public authorities to supply different completion for various generations to join owing to enhance their social bonding and how to get close their relationships.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
 will mitigate their gaps. In a nutshell, following the statements above, advanced technology has caused the elder
generation
Use synonyms
 and the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 to have a big gap in their differences.
However
Linking Words
, social workers and authorities should play the right roles to address these issues and let different
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
 groups have the right ways to communicate.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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coherence cohesion
The essay contains some logical structure and has an introduction and conclusion, but the main points are not well supported throughout the essay. There is a lack of development and clear organization of ideas.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the task, but the response is not fully complete. The ideas are not clear and comprehensive, and the examples provided are not entirely relevant to the topic. It is important to stay focused on the specific reasons for the gap between the elderly and the young, and to provide relevant examples to support the ideas.
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