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Band 4.5

Some people argue that the government should spend money on public services and facilities, but not on the arts. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #facilities #arts
The governments spend a considerable amount on budgets, from public
service
 to arts.
However
, I agree that government should support public
service
 financially. I do not think it is a waste to spend money on
art
. Many people claim that it is important to spend a significant amount of budget on public
service
. Public
service
,
such
 as healthcare and public transport system, is essential to living. If the government did not support the operation of hospitals, the health of the whole society could dramatically decrease.
In addition
, if the transport system did not work well, the daily life of all citizens could be affected.
However
，the importance of public
service
 does not mean that we should neglect
art
.
Firstly
, arts still place an irreplaceable role in communication.
Art
 is a way to communicate emotions and concepts. Even though we do not understand the meaning of lyrics or the background of songs. we could easily be affected by the music, which will help to build a clue of different groups. What’s more,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 is an essential part of any civilization.
Correct article usage
A museum
show examples
Museum
Fix the agreement mistake
Museums
show examples
, as a good place to preserve
art
 masterpieces, should
also
 be supported by the government budget. In conclusion,
although
 I acknowledge that it is important to spend money on public services,*I disagree that investment in arts is useless to the whole society.
Submitted by xiao.ellen.wang on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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